Sunday, May 10, 2015

'It's Egg & Cress, Do You Want It?' now available as a physical book

I feel oddly subdued. My physical autowhyography proof arrived yesterday, and I've been thumbing through it with a twisted smile on my face as I fill up with one part pride, one part stunned silence. I know it's essentially a vanity project, but still, it's a pretty weighty tome, and I don't mean War & Peace, or Ulysses "weighty" either, just that at nearly 100,000 words, it feels substantially thick. It's mostly full of cocaine, pizza, and wanking, and I still keep wanting to edit it. I also this month read it from beginning to end for the first time, and was surprised at the amount of crying I do.

So that was odd.


Anyway, it feels like I'm in a bargain basement version of this scene, minus the family, and DeLorean:


Point is, I'm done with this mammoth project (did I ever mention it?) I should technically go on that diet I said I'd begin once I finished the book, having gained three fucking stone during the writing process - but I also have a marketing spree to do. Turns out people don't just buy your book once it's written. In the month it's been available, I've sold 40 copies - which is fine, thank you all very much - plus a further 50 copies today in my FREE, TIME-LIMITED KINDLE PROMOTION now that the paper copy's available to buy.

The physical book can currently be purchased at Amazon UK or Amazon US - or Amazon France, for that matter. The price is £6.99 GBP, $7.99 USD, and €7.99. The cost is mostly manufacture, and Amazon's cut. I get pennies on each book, but this isn't about the money as much as it is getting the word out. So go buy it. It'll make a wonderful addition to your book collection of much better books. Yes, reverse psychology's an excellent way to promote this thing.

Here's a picture of it on my kitchen worksurface. Just look at that!




And here it is with my cat:



So all I need to do now is lose the weight of a small child, quit my job, maybe buy a new house - something with stairs as I once promised the cat in a moment of drunken introspection - and get a girlfriend. Nothing too major there. I hope to get back into the rhythm of blogging soon too.

In the meantime, please download for absolutely no money the book that took me years to write, and broke my brain. And don't forget to leave a review when you're done!


FREE KINDLE PROMOTION ENDS MAY 12th 2015. The free Kindle App is also available to download for all smartphones, even shit Windows Nokia ones.