Monday, May 16, 2011

Things Only Women Can Say

These words are the privilege of women only. If any man uses these, they must be thinned from the herd Sparta style as they will eradicate humanity in the long run:

Squiffy
Tipsy
Icky
Scrummy (and scrumptious)
Tummy
Tum-tum
Foo-foo
Bot-bot
Ladygarden
Hat
“To die for”
Tinkle
Winkle
Winkie
Whoopsy
Shoes
Glee
Tippy-toes
Relationship
Foundation (unless assembling a building)
Delish
Ridic
Gorge (As in “He’s gorge”, and not “Let’s gorge on hookers and crack”)
Divine
Fascinators
Manolo Blahniks
“We need to talk”

Also…
Sarcastically ending a sentence in “much”
Sneering at me
Crying 

EDIT: Addendum - "Ew"

This post was brought to you by the Association for Crass Gender Stereotyping, Scunthorpe

15 comments:

HC said...

I will dispense of any foot or head adornments henceforward. Wait, is "adorn" another one?

Blonde said...

I'd argue the same fate should be meted out to any woman who uses the word 'ridic'.

Mary said...

Just spiffingly divine post, dahling. So scrummy I just want to gorge on yo- oh no, that can't be right.

Z said...

I don't say them either, dear heart. Apart from Winkie, which is what I call my sister.

I'd say they are words for girlies, not women.

Dandelion said...

Z is mostly right, but wouldn't it great if men could say 'delish'? If you're a man reading this, try it next time you're in the pub and there's women nearby, you will go down a storm, mark my words.

daisyfae said...

Yummy!

PaulO said...

Can you include gayers in that? I'm sure i use most of the words on an hourly basis!

digressica said...

I'd like to propose that 'squee' be added to this list. I'd also like to submit that the best ever use of the word 'delish' was in fact executed by a man. It was Montgomery Burns, so a cartoon man, but it definitely still counts. "Ooh, sounds delish! Let me just pop on my jeans and- wait a minute..." It's obviously not funny out of context, but hopefully you know the bit I'm talking about.

Pearl said...

I promise not to use "squiffy", particularly because I have no idea what it means.

But "hat"? :-)

Pearl

looby said...

Only women can use the word "giggle" or describe themselves as "curvy".

Pearl - "squiffy" is a slightly silly word for being a bit drunk. It's got pompous upper class connotations. PR and Marketing girls seem to be the only ones that use it.

fwengebola said...

HC ~ 'Adorn' is getting hella close. Oh, 'hella', that can go in.
Blonde ~ Perhaps that should be banned in perpetuity, like the sentence, 'Jedward are quite fun really, aren't they?'
Mary ~ Liked where that was headed. Just wasn't sure about the mode of transport.
Z ~ You call your sister Winkie? Really? Winkie? I totally missed that. I hope you don't say that in public.
And yes, they are a bit girly.
Dand ~ A storm like in Missouri now? I can't see it somehow. Unless those men's best friend is Dorothy - and other men.
Df ~ Stop.
PO ~ Yes Paulie. You were actually the inspiration for 'Ridic', assuming you're the PO I think you are.
Dig ~ No, not squee. I use squee, mostly in writing, but it amuses me. It's all squeeeeeee, you see. And I don't think I've seen that episode. I stopped keeping tabs on the Simpsons when it got staid, around the season 6 or 7 mark #snob
Peach ~ "Squiffy" is drunk, normally by ladies, normally in Kensington or the Shires #invertedsnob.
Loob ~ 'Giggle' and 'curvy' have to be left as everyday words, but I'd agree they veer towards the feminine in usage terms.
'Laugh' and 'fat', now that's male.
And yes, re: squiffy. I've got an awful feeling we're describing BLONDE here.

Z said...

It's usually abbreviated to Wink but yes, I do. She had to move nearly 250 miles away to (mostly) free herself of the name, but now even my grandchildren call her "Auntie Wink."

fwengebola said...

Superb! 10 out of 10 for awkward nicknames that have stuck

Claire said...

You're thinking of Kansas aren't you, surely? And no, I mean straight men. What woman hasn't longed for a man that can speak her language...?

fwengebola said...

Dandelion? Is that you? You're called Claire now... i.e. 'all along'?