Friday, July 30, 2010


* Smaller feet
* Bigger cock
* Smaller nose
* Bigger eyes
* Smaller waist
* Bigger tolerance in general. Patience, I suppose. I wish I had more patience.
* Less ginger. In fact, I wish I had darker hair, so I'd blend in with the rest of humanity.
* And while I'm at it, darker skin. I wish I could tan.
* Which in turn, meant I sweated less. I wish I had a higher tolerance for dripping like a snapped tap after a short three minute walk.
* Less fear. I wish I was absolutely fearless.
(* Sad male addendum: And rock hard, like Bruce Lee twinned with a Sherman fucking tank)
* More confidence. As fear, but somehow more positive.
* Less guilt. I wish I lived life drinking from its cup, instead of feeling guilty about absolutely everything.
* A womaniser. Sorry, but I wish I could pile through women like syphilis in a brothel.
* Charismatic? I'm clutching at straws now, but I'd like an almost hypnotic charisma, and engaging witty banter. Basically I'd like to be the bastard child of Dave Allen and Peter Ustinov, with Peter Cook as Godfather.
* Sexual mystique. I want what Sean Connery had, without the wife-beating and being Scottish.
* Yeah, okay, good looks. I admit I haven't fucking got it.
* A genuine, positive love of life, and people, and everything. Just this sheer vivacity, and joy, and happiness for being alive and sentient, right here, right now.

Actually, fuck that guy. He sounds like an unbearable cunt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Edit :- I'm tagging people, except I'm not going to do it at all, because I'd feel guilty about anyone I'd left off.
So if you're reading this and you want to write your own *you* wishlist, then comment and leave a link to your blog. Yes, that'll do. All-inclusive, yet lazy at the same time.


Si said...

The Unbearable Banishment said...

You didn't mention more cash. Good for you. That shows you're pretty evolved. You can't buy satisfaction, you know. But I wish I had more cash.

looby said...

To stop having this irresistible attraction towards other people's girlfriends.

To learn a bit more patience and stop pouncing on the rare bit of faintest bit of interest women show in me, as I'm 46 and I'm seriously worried that I won't ever meet anyone.

Kaye T. said...

Wish for nothing and you will be happier. ;)

McTodd said...

You didn't mention more cash. You fool!

It may very well be true that, as The Unbearable Banishment wrote, money can't buy you satisfaction, but I tell you one thing - it can buy you a much better class of dissatisfaction.

daisyfae said...

i'm confused. the old adage "big feet = big cock" means your first two are mutually exclusive. seems to me, you simply want your cocksize to match your feet. that'd be an attention getter, i suspect...

Quote said...

I did something a little bit like this a while back.

I might do another one.


livesbythewoods said...

I did, look.

fwengebola said...

Si ~ That was lovely. I'm bloody sure it used to be different when I first read that though.
UB ~ I'd love more fucking cash, but I think I've got a good handle of the principle that more money would merely provoke more desire and I'd be perpetually wanting consumables.
I think.
Loob ~ Oh christ. Of course if your life's anything like mine, it could be that said g/fs are the nearest you have to female companionship thus making it almost obvious that you'd form some kind of attraction.
As for your fear of not attracting anyone, you're scaring me. I'm in that boat, and the thought oft occurs to me.
KT ~ Oh sure, easily done.
McT ~ I'd only be a fool if, indeed, my list would somehow become true. Besides, theoretically I'd be overwhelmingly confident and talented to make my own fortune.
Your parting comment is also far too good to be your own, shirley.
df ~ I think, erm, that particular old wives tale is an old wives tale.
Q ~ Yes, I remember that! Also lovely and warm, unlike my bodily-materialistic diatribe.
Lbtw ~ You know you can get your eyes bleached?
(You can't get your eyes bleached. At least not to my knowledge)

Anonymous said...

The things I want magically to happen either could if I tried hard enough or just make me sound really picky. And I'm hardly going to tell anyone about all the defects I try to disguise. So I can't even wish for humility. I wish I was kinder though. I'm not as kind as most people think I am.

Oh ficking hell, darling (that's meant to be a u but I can't br arsed to correct ut) it's a horrible wv and I'm lying in bed. Really this is a beast from a phone. And it's forgotten who I am and I can't be bothered to put it all in. Z

luna said...

You wish you were kinder Z?
I wish the opposite.I wish i could beat quite a few people up and feel refreshed for it!
Have you some viciousness spare?

Anonymous said...

Plenty of viciousness, darling. But few people realise. Main thing is to win and preferably to have those you've hammered still like you. It comes with age. I've earned my wrinkles. Z

fwengebola said...

I'm astonished you're not as kind as you come across, or at least you don't consider yourself to be.
However, as you come across kind, you either are, in which case that's lovely, or you're bi-polar and a bit of an axe-wielding maniac.
Less lovely.
And I don't believe you're not slightly vicious in real life, Luna. Actually I bet you're a high court judge.

luna said...

Hammer them and have them beg for more!Respect!

Vicious is good, devious is better.
Unfortunately despite your flattering compliments,I still have everything to learn in both departments.