Monday, May 03, 2010

Comfort Zone

It's all I can do to sit here and not stare lovingly at my sofa as I type my first proper update from my now settled New Place.

Said sofa is in, ensconced opposite large new HD telly. I have broadband. All my furniture is bought, and I think it's safe to say I don't have to deal with any more estate agents, mortgage advisers, or solicitors.

All I have to do now is live, and I may start remembering again that I could do with a more exciting job. Oh, and a girlfriend.

But it's great being an adult. Frequent visitors may recall that this was what The Pit looked like, back in Chiswick...
























Now my bedroom looks like this...








































But the nicest thing about that bedroom is the fact that it's become just that, the place I go to at the end of the night to cry myself to sleep. Most of my time is now spent in the living room, pretending to write but instead surfing the net and staring occasionally at the sofa and wondering why I'm not lying across it in a drug cocktail fug...








































The irony though is that I'm not doing anything else; my friends are now spread across London including Large Northern (Ex-Flat)Mate, whom I've spoken to the most as he deals with the crippling depression of unemployment in another friend's house near where we used to live.

As for me, I'm skint, having spent all my money on things like cupboards and blinds and the like that's forced me to stay in all this weekend, but I was overwhelmingly overjoyed to discover on Saturday that my newest neighbour is a single (as in "Living Alone") young lady who is really very attractive. She is also doubtless dating some gormless meathead I've yet to see squeezing her arse in the lobby one morning.

Having said all that, we did exchange fattening cake products through the window as her guests hung out of hers, smoking. Nonetheless, Gorgeous Neighbour was careful never to rise above disinterest, something I'm very used to in attractive women.

So that's everything thus far and things seem to be going well, other than discovering that part of my new development has been given to the local council housing association.

While I don't wish to sound unkind towards the less well-off in society, I'm none too impressed that my neighbours and I have paid a fucking fortune to move in here, only to discover some places have been given to those on welfare, for free.

I don't want to sound elitist, but one such recipient of a brand new house may have been the young man who last week drove, tyres screeching, into my block and gave me evils as he turned at speed round the corner.

It may even have been him who wrote 'I was here 2010' in biro on the brand new carpeted corridor outside my front door.

Either way, it beats what was outside my Chiswick front door last year...

23 comments:

Huw said...

To be fair to them, they're at the mercy of a bit of a lottery where they end up - a fair few others won't have been so lucky. I can't get too worked up about the fact that we live in a society that doesn't automatically relegate the poor to dilapidated, poorly heated homes (and yes, I have single mums a plenty round my parts too [and no, even they won't look twice at me]).

I'd also say, in my experience, vandalism isn't correlated with a lack of wealth, it's more aligned to arrogance, boredom and stupidy, neither of which are by any means exclusive to the poor.

Right, I'll just return to my Socialist Rep desk.

Z said...

Speaking as a capitalist, I agree with you. Though I took it entirely on the chin when my friend Anthony got a new knee on the NHS in the private hospital where my husband paid stoopid money for my new hip. It was still worth it, as is your lovely flat.

Thank you for the photos. It looks wonderful. And there's room for another plant on the windowsill, though it could as well go in the kitchen. Chillies are really easy to grow, honest.

C said...

ooh look at you with your website cleanup and your shiny new flat! Congrats! Only very slightly jealous, the word "mortgage" scares me. Seriously, well done! :)

Shoshana said...

Congrats! It looks great - enjoy it!

daisyfae said...

the living room (and bedroom) look quite inviting! i loved my new condo (and leather IKEA sofa) that i mostly live here now... it's my 'bubble'. seems you've found yours!

McTodd said...

Well done at getting your foot on the property ladder.

Naturally, I cannot help remembering what Gore Vidal once said:

"Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies."

McTodd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McTodd said...

I can understand why you're so pissed off at the housing association types. It generally pisses me off that I work my arse off to be able to afford to rent a one-bedroom flat, while untold numbers of feckless layabouts get flats for nothing.

Frankly, they should herd the unemployed into specially constructed state dormitories; giving them housing benefit and free flats just encourages them to do fuck-all.

Pearl said...

Nice new place!

I once lived in an 8-unit apartment building only to find that I was the only one actually paying rent -- everyone else was "Section 8". I found this very irritating, as they were all healthy enough to hang out in the parking lot all night drinking and crushing cans against their cranial ridges.

Pearl

sas said...

love it! the new look, the new digs. its all awesome progress lovely :)

advice: don't shag the neighbour. make her your new best friend. be the shoulder she cries on when meathead behaves inevitably appallingly.

and get her to set you up with her friends.

Kirses said...

'gave me evils', annoying for you, but quite funny as an old skool phrase...

Sarsparilla said...

Your new place looks sweet. (Glad you washed that manky duvet, too!) Get neighbour round quick before it gets messy.

theperpetualspiral said...

Looks good. Look forward to interesting tales about the neighbour!

McTodd said...

Happy Birthday!

You miserable petit bourgeois capitalist running dog.

luna said...

Ah so that's how you had a tidy up!You threw everything out the window!

Happy Birthday too (I had forgotten) and congratulations, you are officially an old fart.

i am not your freud said...

your new place looks wonderful and cosy. when are you throwing a house warming party? notice that i wrote "when" and not just "are you".

luna said...

Strange how you reserve your bitter bile for the unemployed and such and not a peep about the deserving (not!) rich bankers/traders/sleazeMPz/boardirectors/slavedrivers/warmongerers and the like...
I should think that lot deprives you of more nice flats than the hapless bum next door, don't you?
The UK being the 4th wealthiest superpower in the world and all that...

@Z how long did your friend have to wait for his knee op and how long did you for your hip?

Z said...

I saw the consultant on 7th January and had the operation on 22nd. My friend didn't wait more than 16 weeks - it's to keep within that time limit that the NHS has to use private hospitals.

fwengebola said...

Huw ~ No, you're utterly right. I wasn't comfortable about that comment when I made it; way too Daily Mail and it's insane to think that just because they're on Housing that they wrote on my wall. But whoever did was definitely arrogant, bored, and stupid.
Z ~ Ah, yes. The NHS. I love them, and it could be a tad different comparing healthcare to housing. I think. Not that you or I would deny healthcare to anyone. I want to stop talking about this. I voted Lib-Dem and read the Guardian, dammit!
C ~ Thank you, thank you. And mortgage isn't scary. It's really very lovely. Eventually.
Shosh ~ Thank you! Welcome back! I'm in it now. Obviously.
Df ~ My bubble, my rut, and my really comfortable prison.
McT ~ This isn't a success, Bodge, trust me. It's a mnnnugh. Come round soon.
McT ~ Your tongue-in-cheek response makes me feel awkward. No, it's not right that you, I, or anyone else should work hard for a living to rent a pit, whereas non-working fellows (and fellettes) could theoretically be given a place for... LOOK, I'M NOT GOING TO DISCUSS THIS. IT'S RIGHT, BUT IT'S ALSO SORT OF WRONG AND I'M CONFUSED.
Pearl ~ Hullo P, welcome back. Thank you for bringing up Section 8. I recall that being mentioned in Mr Ice Cube's seminal record, 'How to survive in South Central'.
Sounds delightful. I would've loved it.
Sas ~ I love how you know I'll shag the neighbour and warn me against it. Not only have I not seen her since, I also don't expect her to look in my direction, lest she turn to stone. Even meeting her friends is a colossal long shot.
Kirs ~ You mean the kids don't talk about giving evils any more? Oh god, now my verbals are ageing.
Sars ~ Another neighbour hit! I think that's unlikely.
Manky duvet now relegated to guest blanket. I can't go near it.
Perp ~ I love your faith in me. Please can I borrow it?
McT ~ Cunt.
Lune ~ Yes, I am now nearer 40. Thank you for the reminder.
freud ~ Uber-cosy, danke. I haven't and am unlikely to have, a housewarming. I've had 3 or 4 visits now that have varied between coffee and lunch + a couple of sleepovers, but it's a little too bijou for housewarmings.
Dammit.
Lune ~ Right, look, I've covered this, and I feel crap. I can't have a consistant thought about it as we should as a society help every... oh BUGGER OFF! I'VE DONE THIS!
Z ~ I guess you're buying speed when you go private.
Wait, that doesn't sound right...

luna said...

http://www.cafeastrology.com/birthday/may5_2010.html

I meant "you" collectively,not just you in particular.

Let's not forget that in your glorious past you heroically took on a BANK and won...

It annoys me this reflex of bashing the hapless person next door,only because the richlist are out of reach, safe behind their gates and chauffeurs and helipads..

we're like ostriches we don't see them so we are unaware of them.
but they are laughing at us bickering over a few crumbs like so many stupid pigeons in the gutter.

fwengebola said...

I enjoyed that guesswork forecast, thank you, particularly "You are... especially attractive and magnetic."
It thinks I'm a Kelly Brook fridge magnet.
Dammit, that was too good for just a comment.

And Power to the People.
Not sarcasm.

luna said...

Why don't you paste it on your blog.

fwengebola said...

I like the fact that it's hidden. Comments in my old posts are what I consider one of the darkest recesses of the internet.