Sunday, March 21, 2010

Pack Waitmove Thingy

My life is currently on hold as I wait to move house. I should be writing stuff, any stuff, but I can't. It's not in me. My mind is blank, my muse missing, presumed dead - at least until all this flat-buying nonsense is over.

I can't even come up with decent titles anymore.

But then, the theory goes, I'll be living in my own one-bedroomed bastard house flat with a greater sense of my own destiny, and all that writing 'n shit should just fly out of my head.

(Yes, I'm aware that it won't.)

Truth is, buying my own place, and fulfilling all those (admittedly tragic) fantasies about what sofa to own and what type of wood veneer I should get for my Ikea bookcase, is all rather fun and life-affirming. I got to measure the rooms up last week during the home tour, an event that half my family attended and where my sister mentioned to the site manager at least three times that she was my sister, presumably to prevent him from assuming that she might be romantically linked to the abhorration that is me.

I am used to women doing this.

I've already started packing, and slung out a worrying amount of pornography I forgot I had. I shall be borrowing the work van this coming weekend for the Big Push to a different part of London, seeing out my life alone as I cry into my Tesco's meal-for-ones. (This differs from my current life, where all my gluttony is conducted under the jealous gaze of Large Northern Flatmate. He'll be moving in with his girlfriend, telling me and moreover himself that it's only temporary, and it's absolutely not a commitment.)

But I am aware that all I'm doing now is counting down the days, and with a smile on my face. When things are this good, and when my work colleagues are commenting that I'm uncharacteristically happy for once, it's rather difficult to keep up a miserable and self-deprecating blog. (Oh, and hello colleague, by the way. I'm assuming you've found me due to my unfortunate habit of having a backlog of 'I Hate the Earth' headed emails visible at the exact moment you're looking over my shoulder at the work I'm not doing.)

But anyway, that's why there's been a lack of posts lately. Things are going okay. I can't write miserable and sucky during okays.

But thanks for all your comments. I will not be killing this blog just yet. After all, things are about to get very, very lonely, and I might just find myself with a whole raft of new shit to complain about.

I dunno. Consider yourselves lucky.

9 comments:

daisyfae said...

i have to be either deliriously happy, drunk, angry or morbidly despondent to write well. this doesn't prevent me from writing fairly regularly just to keep the habit - so that i can do it when i need to. keeping the blog pump primed as it were.

nice to hear that things are looking up for you. a first home IS a big deal. enjoy the ride...

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Good luck Fwenge. I'm glad you're not miserable for once, even if it is for a limited amount of time.

theperpetualspiral said...

Good luck with the move. I am sure that property ownership will open up a new raft of things for you to complain about ;)

Anonymous said...

with you there...in a good mood, i cannot write a fuckin' sylable...bad mood - the bile flows.

don't know how that works exactly.

Dandelion said...

Hooray! Billy bookcase is it? I picked oak veneer. But I picked blacky-brown for my Gallant desk.

Some of us would love to hear the details of your fixtures and fittings...

Vi said...

Glad to hear you are 'happy' and you've finally got your flat bought! Don't worry, I'm sure it wont be long before you are a miserable fuck again!

Z said...

Well, I'm not going to call myself your sister. It'd be weird.

luna said...

Others of us have had quite enough details of your "fixtures and fittings" thanks!

fwengebola said...

Df ~ Yes, odd that. I felt the urge to complain about my cold and suddenly I could write again. Things had been too sweet of late.
Jo ~ Cheers ducks. I'm guessing I will be very happy for a max of two weeks. Hurrah.
PS ~ Fingers crossed, I'll be complaining of exploded boilers very soon.
Erm, what?
Anon ~ Could be passion - maybe that's it???
Dand ~ The Billy's annoyingly about 5" too wide for the area I've marked out. I'm gonna have to go for shelves beginning with 'B' that had a circle over one letter and about fifteen dots below a 'T'.
Vi ~ Not long now :)
Z ~ Anything's possible if you put your mind to it.
Luna ~ You're not going to enjoy the next half dozen posts then.
More so.