Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye Decade, Hello Other Decade

There's a mere eight hours left of the 'Noughties' and I, for one, wish it a hearty "Sod off". On a personal level, I had sex about twice (this is a decade I'm talking about here, remember), gained weight then lost it then gained it again (repeat to fade), and aged approximately ten years as I did very little else. Although I left my mother's bosom (otherwise known as 'her house'), I bounced from one pointless job to the next as I fought to enjoy myself in a variety of bars and clubs.

I took drugs occasionally, smoked every day, laughed now and again with chums, but ultimately floated aimlessly like a fat feather in the breeze.

I thought it would all end differently, however. My American ex and I have been emailing and, even though it's phenomenally late in the day, there was talk about her getting a flight to the UK right now.

Except she didn't and I'm back to my standard London New Year's do in a bar with Ed™, starting in about 1 hour.

But back to the summary, some fuckwits hijacked planes and slammed them into buildings, ruining just about everything for everyone, 'we' then went to 'war', and Ricky Gervais co-wrote The Office only to become more famous and annoying. Disgracefully, nothing else from the past 120 months springs to mind.

But that's just my impression. What are your thoughts on the first tenth of our brave new century? Exciting? Epoch-creating? Or just bollocks?
Answers on a postcard please, or in the comments section below...

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I've started drinking already.

17 comments:

The Unbearable Banishment said...

An open letter.

Dear 200X:

Go fuck yourself. Seriously. It was bad voodoo from start to finish. Sorry to report that the bad far outweighed the good. Reboot.

daisyfae said...

december 2006 was a bad month. bad enough, in fact, to fuck up the entire decade for me personally. adding in september 2001? i'd vote 'reboot'...

the population (at least here in the states) grows stupider by the minute. we're fucked. no hope for a better decade, let alone century.

oh, happy new year!

Blue soup said...

I think this is the best summary of the decade post I have read all day. You do have an incredible way of capturing what we're all thinking.

Relative to the length of time you've been blogging, I've not been reading you long but thank you for the laughs.

I hope 2010 is better for all of us, but given that tomorrow is just another day, same as any, I advise that none of us expect too much from any of it.

Best wishes to you Fweng. I'll join you in the drinking, but I've got to get out of bed first and have a shower (it's 17.52pm and I've done nothing but write a crap handover for work from mt bed, dick about on the internet and eat chocolate biscuits all day).

x

Anonymous said...

Big Ben's still here standing showing the right time and so are you, drinking said time away...

God it went fast.For me amongst many many near misses and crisis a couple of unimaginable miracles.

Lucky Twenty Ten to all writers/co-creators of ihtearth - remember to fuck the bankers!

Pip said...

2009 was a cunt

2010 had better be better

It better had

Z said...

I had a good decade. Unfortunately, most of the world didn't.

Here's to happiness, prosperity and love for you next year, Fweng.

i am not your freud said...

2008 was pretty weird. 2009 was also weird and not fun. i have some expectations from 2010 cause i'd like to believe that things can't be horrible 3 years in a row. maybe i'm wrong but i wanna be optimistic about this.

Peach said...

... if you'da told me 2 years ago I'd have got together with the guy I was mad about, it would have been easier to give you a million quid than believe you. If you then said he would leave me when I was pregnant and then I had a baby, I'd have fallen over in disbelief.

If you then said I would take the baby travelling and fall in love with Thailand - well, you can imagine, how unbelievable it would all have sounded...

Hated 2008 - tried to make the best of 2009.

Most of us are due fucking amazing years this new year, including you.

XXX

Anonymous said...

Um, mefinks the twennies are going to be kick ass. You just wait and see.

X

Ellie said...

2007 - 7/7 sucked ass.

Blogging exploded into my life. Cool!

Mom with breast cancer ... shitty, but life, innit?

Death; births; drug abuse; promotions. Lots of shit happened.

Good and bad.

xxx

looby said...

I was made redundant (hurrah!) and then found someone through the internet who seems to do at least a convincing impression of finding our recreational activities quite enjoyable (double hurrah!), breaking a duck of so long you'd think I was exaggerating for effect.

But ditto to Peach's comment about you deserving a better 2010. So take all that advice Fweng! All the best from oop north.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Mmmm...see, I'd have to split the decade into two parts. The first five years were pretty damn good:

- Leaving school
- Travelling
- Going to uni and having 4 years of epic funtimes

The next 5 weren't that great due to a succession of family deaths and the like, but things are looking up now. Bring on 2010, I'm all excited.

Homer said...

Macro: in the wake of 9/11, the first time people of our post-Cold-War generation had to deal with the fact that it might be world events that killed us, not natural causes.

Micro: nothing happened until 2005, then everything did.

jason quinones said...

honestly speaking, the decade for me personally was about 50/50. had both good times and bad times. met my future wife shortly after 9/11 and have been with her ever since.

still not sure what the hell is wrong with her because she still tolerates my dumb ass. she says i make her laugh.

traveled a lot with her. been seeing the nation , the world and discovering new places in my shitty old hometown of NYC with her.

the work front is what it is. in this shit economy at least i'm working. would like to do something else but i'm honestly not sure what.

started blogging this decade and foolishly thought the web exposure would make me and my art a household name. it didn't. the web and it's legion of mildly retarded users are more enamored by paris hilton/tela tequila twitter updates and cat you tube videos.

due to my wife being a smarty pants i got somewhat more politically minded and found out the world is a lot more fucked than i thought and i had a pretty bleak world view to begin with so that's pretty fucked up.

due to tourism and terrorism, NYC has completey transformed itself into something i no longer recognize as home.

another 10 years down and i still have a love/hate relationship with my parents.

bring it 2010....

fwengebola said...

UB ~ Wow, was the whole decade pants for you too? Or is rebooting just your overall advice?
df ~ You really want to watch Idiocracy, although any laughter may turn to a frown as you consider you might be watching a prescient documentary.
Blue ~ I'll wager that I had more chocolate biscuits than you over Xmas. And thank you, by the way. Here's to a far better decade...
Anon ~ Luna? That's gotta be Luna. It is, isn't it?
Pip ~ I better bloody hope so.
Z ~ Thank you, Z, and many happy things for you too.
IANYF ~ You know they say bad things come in threes. Are you sure 2007 wasn't shitty? Yes, I reckon you had a shit 2007 and now you're due some fun.
Peach ~ A slightly camp Yaaay to that! I'm surprised you say you love Thailand as most young women tend to find it difficult. Mind you, that may have something to do with the local competition.
Here's to a happy 2009 to you. And me. And Thailand.
Anon ~ The Twennies? So I have to wait another 10 fucking years now?
Ellie ~ Succinct and making me feel a little awkward. 7/7 was 2005, shirley?
Either way, it's incest.
(I've gotta stop quoting Partridge. Sorry)
Looby ~ And the best to you from dahn Sahf. You win the prize for chirpiest summary of the departing year. After Z's, obviously.
Jo ~ You left school in the last decade? You kiddywinky! Needless to say, I'm upset about your losses, and hope you have an offensively amazing new year.
Homer ~ I like what you did there. Although you end on a cliffhanger.
JQ ~ That's enormous, and I see I'm not alone in thinking that keeping a seldom-visited blog would prove to be my making. Terribly good news about your better half, and travelling. Nice to know you own a passport. NY, for the record, still seemed to resonate with its own unique New Yorkness when I went several times (uh, twice, I think) in the last few years. I too am absolutely certain that I want to do something else for a living, and I have absolutely no idea what that is.
Lolcats.
Peace out.

luna said...

HAHA Touche!

But you cheated you checked my IP

fwengebola said...

Actually, I'm not that smart. It literally read as yours.