Today, I remembered why I hate online dating sites.
It's not the fact that they're cold and impersonal, as you search impassively through hundreds of profiles of the desperate and lonely. It isn't the ignoring, and being ignored that might occur when contact is attempted. And nor is it the wider implications of the sites very existence, a searing indictment of how time-starved and inept we've all become.
Nope, it's the fucking blind date I've got lined up for tomorrow. I'll be honest: I don't want to go. I absolutely hate blind dates, and in the 4 years since I'd last gone on one, I'd totally forgotten. They're nerve-wracking. They're cringe-worthy. They're painful. And all this is of my own, accidental devising. The woman in question is the only one guilt had made me email out of several respondents. I'd ignored all the others, and felt awful about it. (I always want to leave a good impression on every date, and not arranging any made this easier to accomplish.)
The blind datee has insisted we meet up in a part of London that an ex-girlfriend of mine lives in, with a dozen of her mates. I'm not saying I'll bump into that ex while I'm on this awkward date, I'm just saying the likelihood is greater in that particular locale.
On the plus side, my last blind date (those 4 years ago) ended with sex that same night. She'd flown over from the States and we'd met in the hotel bar. That American lady had been my last girlfriend (and, uh, sexual partner), and by some bizarre coincidence as I spent this afternoon emailing impending date lady, I was emailed out of the blue by American ex ~ her current boyfriend has dumped her.
I have no idea what any of this even means.
And now I'm scared.