Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Home Is Where The Start Is

I've been back home for nearly a week, and I'm in a strangely positive mood. It's tempered, obviously, by not being on holiday anymore, oh, and having to go to work and, oh yeah, a couple of days ago I drunkenly dropped my left contact lens down the sink and spent half a fucking hour with my hand up a stinking pipe pulling out clumps of pungent grey slurry at three in the morning finding nothing but backache and a swiftly erupting hangover. My new eye test is now booked for this week.

My twenty-odd bedbug and mosquito bites are subsiding, I've done three lots of washing since my return, spent a Saturday night ironing shirts, tidied my room, and done my utmost to enjoy evenings free of writing a shit (Ha!) novel.

It hasn't helped that 50% of said novel feedback has been "Look at it this way; at least you've finished something." All other comments ranged around immature, or poor character development, and a somewhat disturbed opinion of my state of mind; Pretty much all the things that'll make you wish you never go near your endeavours again.

But I couldn't care less. I've had a pleasant break of no sex where I realised I look like an ageing elephant in all the photographs (because the camera was pointed at an ageing elephant), so I've put myself on a diet.
Granted, a quiet weekend of wine, fags, pizza, crisps, a small homemade chocolate brownie, two custard doughnuts and a dozen ricecakes to make amends doth not a healthy regime make, but it's Sunday night and thus I'm back on the sushi.

I'm attempting to cycle to work for the rest of the year, and cut out all the crap, and, more important than that, quit my job. I feel that with a 'book' under my (large) belt, I can leave. I have no idea what for, but it's got to be for more money, and less hours, and at least one member of staff with a womb.

And with all these things in mind, I'm feeling pretty optimistic for once.

Yeah, okay, give it a week.

On the way to Ljubljana. Art installation, or someone's outdoor kitchen?


Breakfast; Kebab.

Goodbye, potential future king, hello First World War.

Downtown Sarajevo.

Uptown Sarajevo.

Mid-air whinging idiot.



Barely alive Croatian cat.

Cavtat, end of the line.

You might well think this is us. I couldn't possibly comment.


PurestGreen said...

Positive thinking, no commenting, and sushi. Excellent. Love the seriously pissed-off expression of the Croatian cat.

Lay off the breakfast kebabs and you'll be fine.

Dandelion said...

If that was you, it'd mean that somebody else be taking the photograph. And that would be against the laws of physics.

Still, could be worse. You could have found heartache instead of backache up that there pipe.

daisyfae said...

nice to read an upbeat post from the land of fwengebola! 'onwards' is my new favorite word - and there is power in it. i've dropped 35 pounds (weight, not british cash) since january. it's been a long slog, with plateaus and bad weeks, but 'onwards' gets it done.

oh, and the cat? actually looks like i'd expect a croat-cat to look.

i am not your freud said...

wow somebody is being positive for a change! and YES quit that job!!

kebab for breakfast?? really??

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I always suffer from post-vacation depression. Getting back to the day-to-day grind is almost too much to bear.

Are those pics of you? From your descriptions I though you weighed in at over 400 pounds! Your weight problem might be all in your head and not your gut.

looby said...

Yes, I was expecting some blob in a tent. Maybe they're Croatian models hired for British tourists' photographs.

Z said...

This is a disturbingly cheerful post. At least tell me you kicked the cat or ate that turd-like breakfast kebab?

Ellie said...

The cat looks like you tried to have sex with it.

Ok, sorry, that was just weird.

blueskies2day said...

Not fat, or minging, or elephantine, or any other things. Possibly even... cute.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Ahahaha I love that cat. It looks like the one floating around the internet with every bit of hair shaved apart from its head and legs.

And if one of those blokes is you, you're so not hideous. Either of you, in fact.

Pip said...

Hey, you're ok.

I'd jump ya :-)

luna said...

the cat's trying to blend in with the cacti;it's a catci!

you just need some new rags.Though I wouldn't go as far as to claim I'd jump you!evan to make you feel better!

fwengebola said...

PG ~ Thankfully, I wasn't the one eating the kebabs. Well, not all of the time anyway. And that cat really was ill.
Dand ~ Yes, of course you're discounting someone taking a picture of us if, indeed, that was us.
I found slime up that pipe.
df ~ Thanks, ducks, but don't bet on it lasting. 35lbs is amazing. That's two and a half stone; that's like my head.
I'm gonna try and concentrate on 'onwards'. It sounds effective.
Elif ~ Surely the proud Turks eat kebabs for breakfast too? (I must admit, it was odd the Croatian delicacy being exactly the same as your one.)
UB ~ No, it's my gut too. I was leaning forward (if, indeed, that was me.) But you're very kind. The trick to avoiding post-holiday blues is to convince yourself that EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE on your return, as going back to a rut sucks.
Loob ~ Pfft, thank you, but models???
Z ~ Actually, the cat left me a little heartbroken; it's hindquarters were almost gnawed off from, presumably, overbiting, and it could barely lift its head to pose. The kebab was all Martin's - on that occasion.
Ellie ~ What???? Can I just say that if I had (indeed) had sexual relations with that cat, it would be cast in a warm and contented glow. Thank you.
BS2D ~ Email me for my number.
PDEWYMO ~ The one on the right is more hideous than the one on the left.
Pip ~ Email me for my number immediately.
Luna ~ I wasn't trying to aim for 'Best Dressed Traveller' seeing as at that point (if indeed, etc) I had walked a mile with a rucksack in 30 degree heat. Trackies and a shit shirt were a necessity, I'm afraid.

Z said...

I didn't mean it literally. Blimey, dear boy, don't try to make me feel guilty.

blueskies2day said...

Gizzit, oneonetheright xxxx

Anonymous said...

The one on the right takes umbrage with you for that comment!!

fwengebola said...

Z ~ It was remarkable, really, just how forlorn that cat looked; barely enough energy to lift his head. He's probably dead by now.
Oh well.
BS2D ~ Uh, sorry?
Anon ~ The one on the right should cough up for the Gatwick Express and get a more positive response.

Anonymous said...

Considering I'm facing the threat of redundancy that might be difficult. So, beer and kebab tonight then?

fwengebola said...

Ah, it is you. Excellent. I can’t, as I cycled in. I did go out last night and biked it home, but was somewhat, well, drunk, and I don’t want to do that again. *Cough* Round mine? *Cough*. The nightlife is rather splendid, not that I get to sample it living with a Large Northern Miserablist. I do have my 50% off the foodbill card that I noted can be used in a couple of restaurants near me. Go on. Ah, go on…

luna said...

And did you give it something to eat to this poor agonizing creature.
I mean the cat, not your chunky mate.
It must have been suffering from leprosis poor thing.I mean the cat not your etc.
Don't they have any vets in these places?

fwengebola said...

I made sure not to actually touch the cat.
And "chunky mate"? What one do you actually think is me??

digressica said...

That cat was adorable, in a woefully bedraggled way. And I agree with UB, I think perhaps your weight issues are all in your head. If I were you I'd be more worried about being a ranga. Just kidding.

digressica said...

Thanks for the photos, by the way.

fwengebola said...

I am not a "ranga", I am strawberry blonde as evidenced by that photo (not that that's me).
And thank you. You are very kind.