Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Not Enough Hours In The Day

I am fucked, regrettably un-literally.

I have had so little sleep, my ears are screaming back at me.

I've balanced my cheque-book since returning from work stood on the train with my flies undone and my belt hanging off, done half a rucksack's worth of ironing, and I've not had time to reply to all my comments. Sorry.

I've stolen downloaded some music for my iPod, put on some more washing, and tomorrow I'm meeting up with a Uni friend I've not seen for about 10 years because she'd emigrated to Australia.

And I don't have time to write this, which is a shame as I've had an interesting few days, not least finishing my (Ha!) book and emailing the shameful pdf to a select few men.

I'd send it to ladyfriends but, well, the female characters aren't the most well-drawn of people.

Or that nice.

I did go on a singles night last week. I'd go into detail if I had the time or the energy, but I've neither. Suffice to say I'd got a free film out of it (I heartily recommend 500 Days of Summer, by the way - even if it made me feel ill because it reminded me of the turd I've spent two years trying to write), and managed to stand in a room making the most of 10 single women to every man by not talking to them as I hid in the corner with my Wingman Martin, looking petrified as we necked all much free booze as possible.

We got approached. We had nice chats. I found myself alone on a bus going home, wondering why I didn't talk to that group of single cute girls I liked.

Mart and I are off to Ljubljana in two days. Followed by Zagreb, and Sarajevo, and Dubrovnik. That is why I'm so fucking tired as I've been racing to finish writing a book beforehand.

And not sleeping.

And going to Singles events.

Not to mention having to work for a fucking living.

Christ, I'm tired. This post could've been sooo much better written. Kinda like my book.



Paperbag Princess said...

At least the inevitable 'what do you do for a living?' question from potential shags can now be answered with 'I'm an writer'. A sure fire 10 points right there. We love writers, we think they're romantic and mysterious and that there's a chance we might become your muse. You don't actually need to mention that your writing, at present, doesn't actually pay the rent!

Z said...

Well yes, PP, but Fweng's relentless honesty would then lead him to admit that the book hasn't been published yet, and then his determined awkwardness would force him to describe the women in its pages in the least flattering terms possible. Yet again, he'd go home alone.

Have a lovely holiday, Fweng.

sas said...


good on ya mate :)
feel free to email the .pdf if you want ladyopinions.

Blue soup said...

Have a lovely holiday, and try to put the book out of your mind for the duration. A break will do you good.

Looking forward to observations and whinges from Slovenia! :)

Ellie said...

At least in Slovenia you'll have an excuse for not talking to any of the hot lasses. Presuming you don't speak Slovenian.

number withheld said...

the thought crossed my mind for a nano second that i should go to that event, but why bother when there's dishes to wash?

digressica said...

I'm pretty desperate to go to Sarajevo. I don't know why I didn't when I was living in London. I expect a detailed account of your visit upon your return. Preferably referencing something other than the women, drugs, booze and bouncers you encountered there. Just this once. TRY. (Not that I'm telling you how to run this one man show.)

fwengebola said...

PP - You have no idea how ready I am to tell the world. I wish all the women who find writers romantic and mysterious knew I'm an aspiring one when I'm walking past them down the street, though.
Z - I have already described "The Book" as 'pretty shit, really,' when pressed.
Currently on the holiday now, in Zagreb. Thank you, ducks. Where have you been?
SAS - Yaay, thanks. Very tempted to send it out, but I'm still concerned about said Ladyopinions. It is a rather blokey novel, but then again, so's the blog.
BS - Oh thank you. Apart from commenting here, I've not really been thinking much about that story at all. Instead I've been partaying, and wondering if perchance I'm getting too old to par-tay. Enjoy the two current whinges.
Ellie - They all speak English; at least the 'youngsters' do. Slightly awkward when you're bitching loudly and they can understand you.
NW/C - Why didn't you?? And where are you???
Dig - Funny you should say that. Currently in Zagreb as mentioned and we're not feeling it at all. Trimmed a day off our stay here and going to Sarajevo tomorrow morning, Bank Holiday Monday in the UK. It does read as an incredibly interesting destination, so I'll try my best to inform and educate, as opposed to moaning about what a cnut I am.

luna said...

Wait a sec,Ironing?? Stuff that you then throw into a rucksack?

Well,that's where you've been holding yourself up all those years!

Are you a stuck up spinster?no?
Stick that iron down the mousehole!

fwengebola said...

Actually, I bought my iron recently, to smarten up all those new shirts.
So there.