Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Steady As She Goes...

I won't go into detail; suffice to say, I am doing things, special things, life improvement things, that I've mentioned many, many, many times before. I shall do them slowly, methodically, and with a metaphorical noose of responsibility around my neck.

I will try not to harp on about my 'progress' at all. For one thing, it only makes me look like a twunt once I inevitably fall back into doing The Complete Opposite™ a month later, and have gained fifteen pounds and a large, cancerous bubo on my neck.

This March will be THE MONTH OF NOTHING AT ALL (barring a trip to the Brighton Beer Festival to slash my wrists with a fat nerd's beard the week after next.)

This is because I am very, very skint, I have a book I'm convinced is in me and I have to write it, and my boss is leaving the country for two weeks, meaning I'll be encouraging my early death as I work every night until 10pm and single-handedly running the company into the ground.

Amid all this, I am also trying to arrange a Stag (re: Bachelor) Party abroad, in six weeks time.

And when I return from said Stag, my boss will have left the country again for two more weeks.

BRILLIANT.

On the plus side, I'm not any of these people:

OH
MY
GOD.

11 comments:

Huw said...

STOP getting me addicted to Cheaters.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Thank you for the YouTube clips. I’m so pround of my country. Remember, we gave the world eight years of George W. Bush.

Twunt? I’m afraid to ask, so I won’t

daisyfae said...

i'm glad you're not any of those people either. i'd have to come over there and beat you with a cast iron skillet.

"twunt". it rocks. fully.

Girl Friday said...

I am so on board with Twunt. Will challenge myself to use it in daily speech at least once a week from here on out.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Dare I ask what The Book is about? Or is that just tempting fate?

Chopperbomb said...

.

Trixie said...

Gawd...did you HAVE to introduce that Cheaters to me???? I have enough trouble keeping up with blogs let alone watching that as well!

Glad to hear you are taking things slowly with your self improvements...as I keep BANGING on to you..one step at a time..I finally listened to myself with that quote, got the diet down pat first (since it's my business...should bloody hope so) then, as you know...quit smoking and now feel totally in charge of that..so now I've quit drinking (pick yourself up off your chair mate...it's true! No more guzzling pink fucking cocktails with ya anymore!)

If you want someone to monitor you, advice, support, someone to bitch at.. whatevs...you know where I'm at!

i am not your freud said...

cheaters is addictive, just like "the moment of truth". i've watched all of the ones on youtube and i want more.

fwengebola said...

Huw ~ It's almost worth buying a Skybox. Almost.
UB ~ Be prou(n)d. It's gotta be lightyears ahead of our version (which I admittedly haven't seen.)
Twunt is merely a portmanteau. Guess which two words and win a prize.
Df ~ You could try and beat me with a cast-iron skillet, but I'll have Joey Greco on hand to diffuse the situation. Sort of.
Gf ~ I am pleased to have been instrumental in giving you more swearage.
PDEWYMO ~ It's about a sad, pathetic, misanthropic man with no idea what to do with himself.
Where I get these ideas is beyond me.
Cb ~ Cnt.
Trix ~ Thank your lucky stars I've kept out of people's way these last few weeks, not that I've been down - just waylaid with indifference.
But I may just bother you yet.
IANYF ~ I'm in the same boat. I can't find any more and I'm at a loss.
I'm hurting. I need a fix. Tell me you've got some magic to share...

luna said...

What does your boss do exactly,smuggling?

fwengebola said...

No, it's all legal weaponry shipments.