Tuesday, February 03, 2009


I have a new mobile phone. In a bizarre quirk, it was used on a new David Beckham campaign, thus he was my actual phone's previous owner (for about an hour). If he knew I've now got it, I'm sure Dave would be overwhelmed.

And I am now on Twitter. You are all welcome to follow me in real time, where I can be quite pleasant and happy (particularly after work). I aim to beat Stephen Fry's record of 100,000 followers within a week.

Oh, just one thing - I can't actually send or receive 'tweets' from my phone.

Best not to bother, then.


Dom said...

If you've got the actual phone that David Beckham has actually held and used then why isn't it on ebay helping to part the morons out there from their money? Don't the inbreds that worship the ground that he and his idiot wife walk on pay lots of money for worthless tat like that?

Hell, you could use the money to go get an escort and at worst you'd have been laid this side of the millennium and at best could claim to the gullible chavettes that haven't found a Neanderthal to live with yet that you are who they want to be with as your dick has had actual sex paid for by Dave himself. Could even net yourself a girlfriend. OK, so it would be devoid of personality and you'd probably have to hide it from friends and family out of embarrassment but it would be a girlfriend.

And yes, that's rather a lot of vitriol to throw at Mr B but it's early, I'm tired and I've never liked the Beckhams :)

monkey typist said...

i cant do it either, i dont think it works in the uk

Z said...

My phone is so old it doesn't even take photos, let alone tweets.

Huw said...

Phew, I was worrying I was being incredibly thick as I couldn't fathom how to make my phone work with it.

monkey typist said...

no, the website is like, its free! set it up now! oh, but youre in the wrong country, so *raspberry*

Lush said...

I'm kind of secretly obsessed with this blog, so yes, I'll put my twitter account towards that 100,000 goal. Consider yourself followed...in a totally non-creepy, twitter-specific way of course.

Hope your back is doing better!

mia said...

What is twitter? :)

Paperbag Princess said...

Having heard about Twitter on and off for an age, you've inspired me to join.

Now am sulking that someone's already nabbed my nome de plume. I don't want to be the real 'me' - ho hum.

C said...

Fweng is having a wank.

Fweng is having a wee.

Fweng is crossing the road.

There you go I've predicted you're following three status' :)

fwengebola said...

Dom ~ So you're not a fan, then? Oddly enough, I may be getting another new phone soon, so a-eBaying I'll go. Not too sure if I can advertise it as once being held by St Dave though. I'm sure he has a team involved in stopping that kind of nonsense, and I don't want to get anyone into trouble, smiley emoticon.
MT ~ It works on Blackberrys and iPhones, I think.
Z ~ Really? Do you have to put your finger in a hole and spin a wheel too?
Huw ~ It's all a plot to make us envy Americans.
MT ~ That was one of my reasons for signing up too.
Lush ~ Hello there. And welcome. You've been keeping quiet. What's all that aboot?
(Hahahahahaha etc)
Mia ~ One of Dante's levels of hell.
PP ~ How about Princess Paperbag?
C ~ I subsequently went onto Twitter and updated as told.
Then I felt stupid.

Z said...

I have still got one of those sorts of phones, yes. It dates from about 40 years ago.

fwengebola said...

In use? Criminy.