Wednesday, December 10, 2008


A quick update because I’m getting non-blog stress to the extent that my left eyelid’s twitching again – or maybe that’s due to my work bollockings as I’m now late for work on a 100% daily basis.

The writing of my (Ha!) novel during all my free time is going better than expected, hence a reluctance to write any blogposts in said sparse seconds, but I’ve decided to shit this out leaving the rest of my evening free pretending to be an author.

I haven’t seen the cute Thai girl since she flirted unashamedly at my head in my local supermarket, which makes me wonder if she’s become a victim of the global credit crunch - her, and now my genitals.

Neither have I seen tubelady on the tube, although an unusual thing happened last week. I ran off to get change for a tenner at the pub next to work, whereupon I spotted a young lady within who looked uncannily like TL. This lady was chatting to (presumably) a work colleague of hers and I observed during their conversation the lady wearing teeth braces, something I’ve never seen this side of the Atlantic. It wasn’t until two minutes later as I walked out of the pub that I had a proper look at her. She, in turn, had a good look at me – which was nice. It was definitely tubelady, except I now have to downgrade her to tubegirl on account of that metalwork. Very, very cute, but probably about 19 – meaning I’m not quite old enough to be her father, unless I was a chav.

Anyway, forget that. I spent last weekend at a surprise birthday party (arrived at the locale 30 mins early, spent 32 mins looking for the fucking place, nearly arrived at the same time as the surprise-ee) where I met for the second time Polish lady, blonde of hair and phenomenal of body, and had a rather nice time. Nothing happened other than animated chatting and consumption of alcohol, and she rather annoyingly left half-way through. Nonetheless, my mate is trying to matchmake. It would be just typical if I end up in a relationship before I finish writing this so-called book.

Still, sex or novel? Sex or novel? She may break my ridiculous drought yet. I think I’d better attach lightning conductors to my balls.


The Unbearable Banishment said...

Why not sex AND a novel? Graham Greene did it his whole life.

C said...

not so self deprecating-this is good!

Z said...

I was 19 when I married and my husband was well in his 30s. It seems to be working out quite well so far.

Dandelion said...

Well, yes, but things were different in those days, z.

Z said...

This isn't 'those days'. We're married now.

Dom said...

Not wanting to kick a man while he's down, but even I'm getting sex. Lots of it. And it's GREAT :D

Girl Friday said...

No offence Fweng, but aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself. Per Dom's comment, not to kick you whilst you are down, but 1 Polish Blonde + 1 keen match maker + 1 Fweng with giz rages balled up in the corner of his room, does not for certain a shag make.

Anonymous said...

I know a girl who just had her teeth straightened and wore braces for over a year. She's in her mid to late 30s. The reason your tube lady has braces might just be that she's old enough now to be able to afford them. Then again, under 19s can get them done free (well, cheaper anyway) on the nhs.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Girl Friday on this - you're getting a little ahead of yourself. I think it normally takes at least a few dates before sex enters the equation (more so if she happens to be Catholic - as so many Poles are).

Also, she may go on a date and just dismiss you out of hand or vice-versa.

Continue with the novel as planned, and if anything else happens along the way then simply roll with it.

fwengebola said...

UB ~ Thanks. But I'm definitely not Graham Greene.
C ~ Wait until you read my new one.
Z ~ Christ! Lucky husband. Or lucky you. I don't know if I've just committed a faux pas.
Dand ~ I'm not interrupting. You two hammer it out.
Dom ~ Fucker.
GF ~ Yes, it would appear I have.
Anon ~ It makes not a jot of difference. I may as well be a JCB digger.
Anon ~ Yes, I think I've rather shot my bolt on that one. Oh well, I can fantasise. Repeatedly. Every night.

Z said...

Not at all, dear heart. Both of us were extremely lucky and still are, and I have the advantage of seeming startlingly young for the age I'm assumed to be.

fwengebola said...

Yes, I can see where that would be a plus. Particularly for hubby in general.