Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thai Teen Scurry

I think I am being looked upon as attractive by a young lady. I can't be sure. Well I sorta can, but my cynical side won't accept it.

She works at my local supermarket of all places, and I thought that she might be mad, or blind, when she eagerly waved me a frenetic goodbye a few transactions ago last week.

I scuttled off in disbelief.

The following day I was back, stood in the queue, when I noticed her racing up to a till so she could serve me.

'Hello!' she beamed.
I went red.
'What is your name?'
'Fweng,' I whispered, in case the queue was listening, then read her tit and repeated what it said on the badge.
'I don't like my name though,' she added. 'I prefer Lisa.'
'Oh.' I said blandly.
'You like tuna?' she said cheerfully as she scanned my fourth tin of cheap Hobo-brand fishflakes.
'Uh, yes,' I replied with the ready wit of David Niven.

Then I left, and she waved a frenetic goodbye.

She's quite cute; Thai, I think. And about four foot nothing. But she is cute. Young though. Although I'm still slightly scared/ flattered/ bemused/ unable to know what to do next. My mind is conjuring up a billion different reasons why I shouldn't entertain any of this but, well, I'm a bit lonely.

Lisa was at a different till this afternoon. I'm not sure if she saw me. But I did notice her serving another young man and flirting happily.

Perhaps she just wants the UK equivalent of a green card, whatever that is. The vomit-coloured card, perhaps. This is just like the time I was convinced my orange hairdresser had a thing for me - and just like then I will probably spend the whole time getting panicky and worked up until I decide to do absolutely nothing, allowing some smarmy egotistical fuckcicle who's happened upon said lady and has no issues of low self-esteem to slot his fetid, overworked tool where my desperate appendage could've gone had I been more of a man and just flirted back.

Christ. I'm absolutely pathetic.


The Unbearable Banishment said...

I’ve been there so many, many times in the past. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Is it opportunity or utter humiliation? Probably the latter but there’s only one way to find out. Do I need to make a crass comment about tuna? No. I will take the high road. And don’t be too sure about her youthfulness. At the risk of reducing her to a stereotype, Asians age much more gracefully than we Caucasians do. It’s a fact!

i am not your freud said...

well maybe she just likes talking to people and has the moral courage to practice it.maybe she is a bit lonely too. maybe she is flirty. maybe she likes you. it's not like nobody ever liked you, why is that so hard to consider? i don't think she is flirting with supermarket customers to get a permission to stay in england. it's not that easy. she'd have to get married to someone and stay married for 2 years. next time you see her say hello and try to smile so that she doesn't think you are a racist or something. us "foreigners" get easily offended.

Trixie said...

Surely there is some class in London that can teach you how to flirt? After all, they have a class for everything else!

Pearl said...

Ah. All of life is a giant job interview. Be funny, be smart, ask questions, make them love you and then decide if you want "the job" or not. You're funny -- why not share your loveliness?


Anonymous said...

speak to her. ask how long she's worked there. ask how she learned to scan the items so quickly. ask about a pin, a hair accessory or how she decided on the name "lisa" when she looks like a "Beautiful Pandora" to you. ask what her favorite item to touch is... ok... maybe not that...

you're not likely to marry her, but wouldn't it be fun to go see a film with her and take her out drinking and then eating kebabs at 3am? that's not a euphemism...

Dandelion said...

NO NO NO, JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY! Dear Fweng please stop yourself right there. There are a million women who read your blog who would love to get close to you (if you know what I mean). Tesco is for camaraderie and the human spirit, but that is the end of the story, especially with a lady who flirt with Tom Dick and Harry, as well as you. Doesn't it occur to you to ask what that's about? It ain't for real, don't let her trick you.

Plus I'd just die if you chose the checkout girl over me. I've got a phd, you know, and I'm even pretty as well, and I'll smoke you, drink for chocolate bar under the table. You'll love it, if you catch my drift. Someone clearly needs to save you. Please don't make me have to get up off my bum. Isn't there somebody out there?

Dandelion said...

ps dear freud, did you forget to send me the invite? Or are you too polite?

Dom said...

The girl is clearly a cruel temptress who, seeing how pathetically lonely you must be with your value tuna, is toying with your heart strings to while away the boring hours at her monotonous job. She's just waiting to see how far she can string you along before crushing you completely. If she doesn't get you then the others will. The only way you can escape is to change to home delivery and shun real human contact. Besides, you know as well as I do she's sleeping with the guy 3 behind you with the bottle of fancy wine and the meat from the deli counter for dinner :)

Huw said...

Get back there, sir. Let her use you like a lorry parked unattended at Calais if needs be. Buy a bunch of grapes, one grape at a time.

looby said...

I think anyone would struggle to come up with an immediate witty riposte when given the subject "tuna" but you should definitely try again. Maybe ask her how long she's been working there, or how her weekend's been or something.

i am not your freud said...

dear dandelion,
my blog is public. you could however send ME an invitation to yours :)

love from freezing vienna

Clarissa said...

Just don't turn into that other guy. x, c

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Love in Aisle three, toot toot!

Take her for a trolley ride.

Anonymous said...

She love you, long time

Dandelion said...

dear freud, i would love to, but you have to email me. I can't send the invite without an email, because of blogger.

love from ordinary london

C said...

I'll take your flirty passport seeking Tai cashier for my flirty spare change seeking Homeless guy..

God, we make a right pair:)

Digressica said...

Gosh. The thing is, if you did date her and things got awkward, you'd have to find a new supermarket.

fwengebola said...

UB ~ Good point. She's probably 72. Still cute though. And I'm still mute.
IANYF ~ Oh come on, you're not easily offended. That much. Although you haven't read my latest post.
Trix ~ I have no doubt about that. Although I know it all. I just can't do it.
Pearl ~ That's very kind of you. I wouldn't call me lovely though.
df ~ But I can't! It's all too difficult and public, and then I'd have to meet her afterwards oh GOD. It's a lovely idea though, really living for a change.
Dand ~ By a million, don't you mean five? And besides, I've made a rather disturbing couple of admissions in my latest post. Otherwise, you're on. Let's go.
Dom ~ I knew it, I fucking knew it, and you're the guy with the wine, aren't you.
Huw ~ Great, and like a lorry I can just wait there to be boarded.
looby ~ It's been a while though. I have yet to see her.
IANYF ~ It's freezing here now.
Clar ~ What other guy?
PDEWYMO ~ Is that a euphamism?
Anon ~ Quite.
C ~ We'll have to go gay, though.
Dig ~ I've long thought about that awkward situation, and it is unsettling.

C said...

pfft..i'll take back my flirty spare change seeking Homeless guy and you can keep your flirty passport seeking Tai cashier.

luna said...

Yep,visa chaser.Because of the new rules I guess.
Never mind,go for it,invite her home,she'll do all the work,I promise

fwengebola said...

C ~ Done! If she hadn't actually vanished.
Luna ~ She's gone, dear.

luna said...

Of course,she has,she got deported !