Thursday, April 03, 2008

The Book

One minute I'm glowing because in in the throes of creating a proper work of (barely) fiction. The next I realise I'm kidding myself and I'm polishing a turd. The book is draining me, possibly because I'm banking on it to CHANGE MY ENTIRE LIFE.

So that's all fun.

Writing it can be pretty fun though, when I allow it to. At the moment, it's painful again, both in writing the fucker, and reading it back.

I've been using this non-cycling period to read Stephen King's On Writing whilst commuting to work. Just now, trundling back home on the tube, I read the following paragraph from a short story within that made me chuckle...

"The job was quicksand. The day I started, it crept over my toes. Now, a year later, it had covered my mouth and was tickling my nostrils."

I chuckled - in a maniacal, sleep-deprived way - because I have written five chapters, FIVE FUCKING CHAPTERS, that says exactly the same thing but in excruciating detail, to the point where you either want to slash the main character's wrists (Ben Gefwola - no relation), or else cut your own head off instead.

And that's Bad for a light-hearted romp.

Back in the real world, my boss barracked me this morning for "looking like shit", insisting I fucked off and went back to bed. I didn't. Despite only - what - four hours sleep all week I was piqued that he told me to sod off home, so I stayed put. He did give me the day off tomorrow though - Three day weekend!

I went to the doctor's two days ago - I've had tinnitus for years and it seems to be getting worse, a constant hissing, as if I were dropped on my head as a baby and the throbbing stuck. But the overworked, indifferent doctor just shrugged. He didn't know what to do. So I went to the dentist yesterday. I'd read on some eardrops package that wisdom teeth could effect the ears, but the dentist said they weren't in my case, and booked me in to get another fucking tooth removed in June. (This time I'm going to get knocked out with gas. I'm damned if I'm going to be a brave ickle soldier and get five lucid injections punched into my gum by a scalpel wielding sadist.)

So that's that. I'm not sleeping much. I have several stags and weddings approaching in quick succession, one of which I have to make a speech at. I'm trying to read more too. Sex still eludes me. Jim Davidson and Jeffrey Archer are still cunts.

Oh, and my boss called at 6:15pm to say that he forgot he had an appointment and could I please not take the day off tomorrow.



Huw said...

My boss tried to compliment me by saying a week or two previous I had looked very haggard, but seemed much better now.

I thought I'd looked pretty good myself.

Anonymous said...

I feel a good back patting hug would benefit you greatly, large northern flatmate perhaps ?

Z said...

Darling, please take a weekend off from writing. Just sleep and then go for a walk in the park or something.

Vi said...

How about letting some of us read it so we can really let you know if its a piece of turd or not? I'm DYING to! Please send me some chaptera! Pretty please????

Angela-la-la said...

Vi's right, you need objective critique. You know where I am.

Oh, and your boss is a tease!

bittersweet said...


what a bugger about the day off.

Clarissa said...

We'll be kind, constructive critiquettes.

BTW - can you tell us then, it's not nice that you still have your job?

Anonymous said...

Book better than the blog or same as?

livesbythewoods said...

Sounds like you need a holiday. Wiltshire is nice, if a bit full of tractors.

Your boss needs a slap.

fwengebola said...

Huw ~ Bosses are great. Mine has a habit of pointing out my failings by beginning each sentence with "You haven't bothered to..." as if I'd made a conscious effort to avoid putting the date in the top right hand corner of a fucking telephone memo.
Anon ~ If LNF hugged me, I don't think I could look him in the eye again.
Z ~ I'm actually gonna go one better; take the week off work and carry on writing! Perfect.
Vi ~ Hi Auntie Vi. Would love to send you chapters but it's still a work in progress and I'm chopping and changing all over the place. Gimme a few months. I'm still tightening it.
Ang ~ Thanks. I did once get some objective criticism. Hippy Dave read something I wrote and commented on it, except the commentary became an argument which effectively made me stop writing for a year. I want to finish draft 2 before I show it around, if I can.
BSM ~ A bugger? It was a fucking nightmare.
Clar ~ It's not that nice that I still have a job?
No it isn't. That said, they pay me.
Anon ~ Hard to say. I'm amazed at how this blog, as a work of non-fiction and thus an example of one average life, has many characters, stories, coincidences and surprises all interwoven within. It's hard to invent all that from scratch.
Plus there's more explaining and setting-up with a novel.
So... I don't know.
Lbtw ~ Do you work for the Wiltshire tourist board? Nah, my boss is fine. What he taketh away in the one hand he giveth back in some other holiday allowance thing.

luna said...

Vi's practical,positive genius has struck again.
just post the first and last paragraph of each chapter and we'll tell you the score.
I know an agent,very nice person too.He's setting up for himself so he needs scripts.You might just be a godsend.
Well,that's if you stop following Stephen King's advice.How could you?...he's no Nabokov.

Z said...

Not for the first time, dear heart, you astound and impress me.

Anonymous said...

hiya, if the dentist didnt help the tinnitus there are things you can take, theres a product called 'tone' and its for tinnitus/quality of hearing etc. the teeth-out thing doesnt sound fun though...

fwengebola said...

Luna ~ I'm afraid it will remain a secret until I've at least completed draft 2.
So - it'll never see the light of day then. Thanks for the heads up. I will use that to make myself feel really lousy when I put off writing yet another day.
Z ~ Christ, how?
MT ~ I've tried looking for tone. Can't find it!