Monday, March 31, 2008

It's 10pm And I Want To Go To Bed

So very, very tired. My life is now revolving around trying to funny-up an unfunny and lacklustre story. I am five chapters into the second draft, a draft that to all intents and purposes is slowly resembling nothing of the 30-chapter original.

I still have only a vague idea of where it's all going, but it's getting sharper by the day (the story, not the wit or any noticeable signs of talent.)

And as such, I am going slightly mental. I am barely sleeping. I am texting friends to apologise for not hanging out with them any more. I am going to work in a vice-like fug of tiredness and confusion. My diet consists of Pringles and cigarettes. I am desperate for sleep. I am even ignoring women who are contacting me on a dating website I recently joined because - oh how this makes me laugh - it is becoming apparent that in trying to resolve my major issues (such as writing), I am automatically scuppering any number of my other woes (such as not getting any se trying to meet a nice ladyperson.)

Because I can't do everything at once.

So I'm still:
a) Smoking
b) Eating shit
c) Gaining weight
d) Not cycling
e) Not visiting the gym(s)
f) Not sleeping
g) Not having sex - as if that needed pointing out.

and in a weird example of history repeating itself, I am going on another stag in a few days, Hippy Dave's, obliterating a precious 48-hour weekend that would otherwise be spent kidding myself that I could get a book published writing.

Great. Just postponing the time until I start touting my finished manuscript and getting several billion rejections.


Anonymous said...

Like I wrote this morning, don't worry about the not meeting up for drinks etc.. Just get the novel sorted, and I'll try to sort out mine.

I'm setting myself a target of finishing the damn first draft by the end of April!!

I then plan to spend the entirety of May polishing and fact checking the motherfucker before I start contacting agents. Apparently, so I'm told, you're only supposed to contact one agent at a time. And these guys can often leave you hanging for months before they put you out of your misery...


looby said...

What dating website is it where women actually contact you?

Bianca (as in Jagger) said...

Sounds like a writer's life to me... And, yeah, that's kind of the way it works. It's only possible to concentrate on fixing one thing at a time. Like a checklist. Glad you've got your priorities straight. Get the one thing going - the most important thing - and the rest will fall in line. You've gone this long without a nice ladyperson, what's a bit longer?

Dom said...

I thought, what with publish on demand and all that, that getting books published was slightly easier these days. Still no guarantee you'll make any money though.

chopperbomb said...

Can't help noticing you haven't texted me to apologise for not hanging out with me...

Clarissa said...

Can't help noticing your ignoring my overtures to you on the dating website.

Vi said...

Know EXACTLY what you mean mate. I've just been concentrating on work the last few months.

You just concentrate on that book, cause I know it will be great! Then you wont have any trouble getting a lady when you become rich and famous!

luna said...

Looby thinks he's in for a chance.

pop the vitamin pills if you still haven't worked out how to eat to stay alive.

Anonymous said...

You love the whinge.

bittersweet said...

you can survive without the gym/ladyfriend/bicycle/interesting job but life gets sticky without sleep.

Melissavina said...

It's nice to visit your page and see a world completely saturated in pessimism.

Don't eat shit. That's gross.

Globus said...

what an excellent blog which cheered globus up no end. sympathy (and understanding) about shit sleep and lack of sex, although the causes are different. keep swearing - you do it well :-)

fwengebola said...

Anon ~ You can only contact one agent at a time? Who told you that? An overworked agent? Well let me try to finish the fucker first. That would help.
Looby ~ One where the women aren't choosy.
B(aiJ) ~ Because the bit longer becomes weeks, then months, then years.
But you're right about the one step at a time. Dammit.
Dom ~ Dunno. I think new fangled ways of getting material out there or no, it still boils down to decent story, agent, publisher, smug sense of fulfillment.
CB ~ I have now.
Clar ~ Really? Are you sure it's me? After all, I haven't used my name or somesuch.
Vi ~ Thank you Vi for your hugely overwhelming faith.
Luna ~ Good point. I'll buy some.
Anon ~ Yes, yes I do.
BSM ~ It is rather problematic, I'm afraid.
Mel ~ Yep, 100% misery. I take it you haven't seen 'Two girls, one cup,' then.
Global ~ Thank you Globus, and welcome, with your third-person referring personality.