Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Did The Earth Move For You Too?

I was fighting to fall asleep early this morning when my bloody neighbours began fucking each other into the middle of next week.

I say this because I started wobbling in bed.

No, wait, I can't actually hear any frantic banging. Oh, it's fine. I'm just having a seizure.

I shifted about, continued to feel wobbly, then eventually dozed off when everything calmed down a few seconds later.

Then my sodding alarm clock woke me up a short while ago, and I learnt that there'd been a huge fucking earthquake in Lincolnshire, about 150 miles away.

How? The nearest faultline is in the middle of the bloody Atlantic!


Dom said...

The nearest majour fault line is in the Atlantic. There are bloody millions of minor fault lines all over the shop.

or, if you prefer consipracy theories:

Everyone in the UK who could get some secretly met up near Lincoln to have one giant shag-in just to piss you off. The vibration of god knows how many rutting couples was enough to rouse you from your sleep.

I was asleep through the entire thing and even if I had been awake I would have assumed it was a freight train going past.

Vi said...

Scared the fucking CRAP out of me!

Hannah said...

Huh. No earth moving here in 'Burgh. Sadly.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Pete farted?

Jo said...

Can I take a witness statement?

Do you have any images of the destruction?

I love how Britain's earthquake is encompassed by people telling the news how 'I was rather shaken as a few plates smashed downstairs, yet the cat was upstairs' or something. I find the whole thing quite amusing.

Chris said...

hey man, thought id stop lurking and say big up, great read everytime

anyways... the whole earthquake thing completely passed me by - i was up then, bit stoned, but nothing my way... although thinking about it i missed the solar eclipse in 2001 or whenever so might not be the best to comment!

keep up the writings bruv and peace!

Clarissa said...

Did you hate the earth while it quaked or did you have a momentary rapprochement?

Monozygote said...

Heh heh heh. I wish I'd thought of that one, clarissa

Z said...

Darling, the earth had moved for me the previous night and a bit of an earthquake was not enough to wake me.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe all the fuss over a little earthquake. Your little brick terrace houses are crap. I'm surprised they don't crumble each time some portly bird in a horribly inappropriate skirt stumbles down the street after a night's binge of beer and take-away.
Btw, a 5.3 is nothing. I don't get out of bed for anything less than a 6 on the old richter scale.

luna said...

It happened while I was sat on my cushion doing the crossword.
At first I thought it had gotten windy all of a sudden but then my pigeons flew off and they'd never fly out in a gale.

Anyway I've survived a bigger scarier one,and left a metropolis because of the earthquake factor.
Drats!If even good old London gets the shakes,where is there left to hang around.

fwengebola said...

Dom ~ Minor fault lines, eh? That would make sense. Although it's a little scary to imagine every tectonic plate riddled with cracks.
The knowledge that everyone else is having sex will suffice.
Vi ~ Oh good point, you're near it. Well, nearer than me.
Hannah ~ Then get yourself a nice Scots chap. An oxymoron, I know, but give it a shot.
Anon ~ Hello Jamie.
Jo ~ Ok...
Chris ~ Hello Chris, how very nice of you. You've missed World War III and lots of other stuff too.
Clar ~ No, it's still crap.
Mono ~ Really? I had to look it up on
Z ~ Stop referring to sex.
Anon ~ Hello. And how is the United States at the moment?
Luna ~ I hear Moscow's relatively peaceful in the earthquake stakes.

luna said...

Are you trying to get rid of me????!

Anonymous said...

Fwengebola: Hmmm...I don't live in the US, so I wouldn't know, but a very good guess.

fwengebola said...

Luna ~ It'll be hard to go somewhere that doesn't have internet connection.
Anon ~ That'll be Canada then.

Anonymous said...

fwengebola: I should visit Canada sometime; I've never been there, have you? I live in the 51st state of the USA: Australia.

fwengebola said...

The 51st state is the UK, surely. Look! It was even made into a (shit) film