I was fighting to fall asleep early this morning when my bloody neighbours began fucking each other into the middle of next week.
I say this because I started wobbling in bed.
No, wait, I can't actually hear any frantic banging. Oh, it's fine. I'm just having a seizure.
I shifted about, continued to feel wobbly, then eventually dozed off when everything calmed down a few seconds later.
Then my sodding alarm clock woke me up a short while ago, and I learnt that there'd been a huge fucking earthquake in Lincolnshire, about 150 miles away.
How? The nearest faultline is in the middle of the bloody Atlantic!