Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Grieve

10 hours of 2007 left, and I'm not at all sure what I'm doing, or what anything means anymore.

I'm tired and achey, I'm currently existing on a 12-hour sleep to 12-hour vaguely awake ratio, and my New Year's knees-up options are speedily vanishing from view like an attractive girl I've just said hello to in a nightclub. I had the option to spend tonight at Hippy Dave's gaff but I a) never got round to confirming this with him and b) have a feeling he's buggered off to another part of the country anyway, so his house would be locked and empty if I did actually make it down there.

Furthermore, Large Northern Flatmate is going for a meal with his ladyfriend tonight.
Other chums are skiing in France.
Others still are at said houseparty with Hippy Dave, somewhere not in London.

I am considering not going out at all, and seeing in the New Year at home, alone, and in front of the TV. After all, that's pretty much all I've done for the last few weeks anyway.

I shouldn't care. New Year's Eves are absolutely shit anyway, an overrated excuse for a time-specific pissup that transcends age, race, religion and class, yet always seems to disappoint. In an effort to have the Best New Year's Eve ever, I've hung out in London ~ Utter shit; I felt bad for tourists who assume that our capital caters for hordes of party animals when in actual fact the powers-that-be like to dissuade anyone from doing anything, when coppers out in force resent having to deal with millions of drunks, and restaurants, bars and clubs charge whatever the fuck they like.

Edinburgh was more interesting. They've somehow managed to rebrand the whole affair as Hogmanay and make out they invented the whole fucking concept. As a result, Princes Street becomes a carnival of merrymaking and mass-snogging, or at least did about ten years ago. When I travelled up there two years back, the whole street became ticket only and lacked the spontaneity and excitement of my first visit. It also seemed to contain a large number of Scottish Chavs (Neds, I believe they're called), wearing nought but a t-shirt and jeans and trying to look blasé and indifferent as they casually caught hypothermia.

New York was better. I went during the 1998-99 New Year, on a boat somewhere. There was a free bar all night and I was amused to note that I seemed to be the only person there taking full advantage of that. I also remember thinking that it was far colder than Edinburgh had been. In fact, Christmas in New York is fucking freezing.

Other New Year's have been spent at friend's houses, or else curled up in a foetal position under a table, crying and gently rocking myself to sleep.

And so, once I work out in what pathetic, drunken manner I am to see in another cruel, useless, uneventful New Year, I can embark on my resolutions, my pointless and frequently similar recommendations for yet another 12-month waste of time.

So here we go...

Resolutions ~ 2007 Vs. 2008

1) ~ (2007) Quit smoking
1) ~ (2008) Quit smoking
2) ~ (2007) Cycling, Swim, Exercise, Diet. Consider joining a gym.
2) ~ (2008) Cycling, Swim, Exercise, Diet. Consider joining a gym.
3) ~ (2007) Quit my job for a better paid, more creative career.
3) ~ (2008) Quit my job for a better paid, more creative career.
4) ~ (2007) Finish creative endeavours, and do something with them.
4) ~ (2008) Continue with creative endeavours, and do something with them.
5) ~ (2007) Have sex
5) ~ (2008) Have sex
6) ~ (2007) Get work in New York.
6) ~ (2008) Buy a house in London, or as near to London without bankrupting myself.
7) ~ (2007) Be a less regretful and guilty whinging bastard, and become a more happy and positive whinging bastard.
7) ~ (2008) Just do Numbers 1-6 and that'll be more than enough for me.

So here's to 2008. Quite frankly, if I can lose some weight and stop smoking, it will have surpassed all 2007 at a stroke.
In fact, it will have surpassed my entire existence on this spinning fucking orb of pain.

11 comments:

chopperbomb said...

Blimey you ain't half a drama queen! At least you don't have to work on New Years Eve and New Years Day like I do...

Z said...

It's starting in January that's the killer for New Year's resolutions. It's a miserable time of year to start anything, and by the time spring comes one has lost the impetus.

However, I did start cycling in November and am still doing it, and have lost weight too -if I can do it you can, because you do not intend to be bested by someone old enough to be your mother. Or do you?

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

mate - i don't even know if I'll even be awake at midnight! I'll be asleep under the table in some pub.

Go out my dear and get yourself laid, that would be a good start to your year! (just remember, if you ask 100 girls for a fuck, one of them will say yes!)

luna said...

If you're not doing anything I'll be at this Spanish bar near Tottenham Court Road...OOps,you've done that one already!

sue said...

Hope 2008 brings you all you wish for, and good luck with the new job hunting. But please don't lose too much weight - I don't know any woman who likes a thin man!

Jo said...

Here here for new year being overrated. My last few posts of 2007 are a striking testiment to that. A night out on new year is a pain in the arse of the highest order. Happy new year, anyway.

fwengebola said...

CB ~ Also sprach the World's biggest drama queen. I shan't give examples.
Z ~ Yeah, January's a miserable bugger. I'm cycling tomorrow though.
Ugh.
Vi ~ Doesn't sound like you got much sleep in the end.
Luna ~ Bradleys? I was nearby last night. Damn!
Sue ~ Hey, thanks Sue. And to you. Don't worry about the weight loss. It's very unlikely that I'll emaciate myself.
Jo ~ God, it's a waste of time. I would've liked a house party, but y'know.
I strangely have a bed to chair cleaning scheme too - and pirate tapes from the 90s.
Zzzzzzzzzz.

Sabine said...

Just for some unwanted commentary on the 'losing weight' resolution-I know I have had it listed for years running, my best advice that I am only imparting because I have taken on board myself is - sure get 'fitter' if needed- but work out what cut of clothes works best however your body - ask a friend if needed- then get a set of these clothes- and basically only wear things that compliment your best bits. Also good for lazy dressers like myself that don't folllow fashion.
Sorry, I feel like a nana saying so- but does make a difference, and gives a break from the same resolution.

fwengebola said...

So instead of eating healthier, exercising, losing weight, gaining confidence, building stamina and muscle, and looking good naked, you want me to wear a different shirt?

I'll do it.

Please said...

Is there any more wine or weed?

fwengebola said...

In me? No.

(Yes)