Thursday, August 09, 2007

Fate is Other People's Thing... that... they.... have.

Funny thing, Fate. So much so that I felt the need to capitalise it just then. And stick it in italics.
There, look! Above!
I guess it's just so damn Funky. 'Fate' is this thing, this unquantifiable, inexplicable whatsit that simply can't possibly exist in my boringly rational scientific brain (which makes me sound far more intelligent than I ever could be), but it would be really darn cool if Fate actually did exist, a bit like discovering God, or Martians, or a really noble Politician.

Like God, for Fate to exist, there would have to be an ordination for everyone, a predestiny that suggests really very strongly that we've all got our lives mapped out in a very, very large book in the sky; an unshakable, unbendable, deliberate path that we will always traverse, even if we try our damndest to avoid it.
Now call me a cynic, but I can't really believe any of that.

Which is a shame, as there's something terribly romantic about destiny, a divine will that has marked out our otherwise completely irrelevant lives from among six billion other humans, not to mention loads of frogs, lions, ants, bats and penguins.

So what the hell is this post all about? Well, this one very brief story to follow, based around this positively huge ramble about predestination...

Neale was a friend from my schooldays. We hadn't seen each other for twenty years when we caught up on Friends Reunited and agreed to meet. We met in a pub, had our first beer together, and got completely smashed, even though it was a Wednesday.

It was pleasant, and odd. We'd moved on significantly enough to be complete strangers. Neale didn't even remember me properly. The photos he'd brought along from our schooldays were of a completely different ginger kid called Christopher. We then caught the tube home where I drunkenly yelled at some commuters who had the bad luck - or fate - to be stood nearby, that we were old schoolfriends who had caught up after twenty years, and Isn't that Great?

Then I humiliated Neale via email (Point #6) and hadn't heard from him since ~ until last week, when he 'found' me on Facebook and added me.

Neale has since got himself engaged with a view to wedded bliss, and to a very nice looking young lady.

He had met her on a tube platform.

Apparently, I'd walked up to her a several years ago and yelled, 'Alright? Me and this guy here went to school together and we haven't seen each other since we were 8!'

I have tonight found my first girlfriend on Facebook and added her as a friend, if she'll have me. Oh look, she's married with kids now.

Always the Gloom, never the Groom. Perhaps that's my Fate.

And that's just Fine.


Will said...

Nice! I was responsible for introducing a friend to her now husband, but because it happened during a drunken night and I'd only met the guy about ten minutes before, I've never got any credit for it.

So you're lucky, in a way.

Angela-la-la said...

Animal porn *gigglesnort*

bittersweet me said...

i'm sure he is very grateful.

fwengebola said...

Will ~ I always get zero credit for intros, such as my mate 'Chopperbomb', soon to marry his fiance. I walked over to chat to her at a party, and he turned up after two minutes and said 'What's going on here then?'
That event is never mentioned in their official take on how they met. It was just 'House party.'
Ang ~ Yes, that's the kind of noise you hear in those movies.
Sort of.
BSM ~ It seems that way. Give it a few years.

chopperbomb said...

Whoah, let's get this straight here. I clocked my Mrs and her mate at said party before you were even there and then chatted to her mate as I was too shy to talk Mrs Chopperbomb. You then pretended you were a fireman, Mrs CB didn't belive you and I later asked her for her phone number. You did no 'introing' and so deserve no credit. And what is this never before mentioned "official take" we have? I don't mind you taking a few creative liberties with your blog, but as I've said before not at the expense of making me look like the cunt.

fwengebola said...

Hang on...

Salient point #1: We arrived at the party at the same time. Don't know what 'clocking them before you were even there' means, unless I was in the kitchen/ toilet/ Brazil.
Salient point #2: When I was asked what I did for a living, I said 'Fireman'. I was young and frivolous back then. And up until your comment above, you've always maintained that they did believe I was a fireman and as such I should in future lie to all prospective ladies with this opener (thereby establishing a hopeful relationship built on a solid bedrock of untruths.)
Salient point #3: I have a very strong recollection of you coming over and saying 'What's going on here then?' *or* 'Hello there' *or* 'Alright?'
(which, by the way, is as creative a liberty as I take with my blog - and still my point remains the same)
I can even recall you were drinking a can of McEwans lager, mainly because I can't think of anyone before or after that event ever drinking McEwans, anywhere.
Salient point #4: Following said advance by you, I absolutely turned to the ladies present and said, 'This, new ladypeople, is my friend and associate Chopper.' (Or words to that effect).
That, in my craaazy world, constitutes an introduction.

As such, I have oft pondered that had I not gone over and said hello at that house party, would you indeed be getting married?
Perhaps that is an idle boast. But perhaps I *may* have helped.
Who can say? It's a strange world.

fwengebola said...

And by the way, this never before mentioned 'Official Take' would be the stance you've adopted in your comment above, and on previous occasions when I've said to you 'Don't you think it's weird that you'd've never met 'Mrs CB' if I hadn't said hello?' and you went loopy as if it was an affront to your masculinity.
Hence, Official Take.

luna said...

Your comment box is getting funnier than your blog

chopperbomb said...

Wow, I never knew how deluded and mentally 'confused' you really are! There are huge inaccuracies in all of your "salient" points I'm afraid, mate. I'm not gonna lower myself to debating this further seeing as you've obviously created your own reality and you even believe it probably. And I'm fine with that. You believe what you want and I'll bask safe in the knowledge of 'the truth'.
Looking at the wider picture though, who gives a fuck who saw who first and who said what to who about someone putting out fires for a living etc etc? I personally believe we all bow down to the Gods of Fate anyway. Peace out...

fwengebola said...

Luna ~ That happened back in November.
Chopper ~ "Deluded and mentally 'confused'"?
"Deluded and mentally 'confused'"?? We're at a houseparty, I talk to some girls, you join in after several minutes of me chatting to them, and ten years later, you're marrying one of them.
You then maintain above that I "did no 'introing' and so deserve no credit", whereas I find that just a little bit unfair considering you never talk to women, ever. I know it's hard to see me as a force for good in your world, but I'd at least like a tiny, vague acknowledgment that perhaps I helped you in some small way. It would be far nicer than the strict, ruthless denial of the last 10 years.

Not a beer, not a pat on the back, or a seat at the top table, just a mental note that I was there that night and... oh fuck it, never mind.

chopperbomb said...

Fished in!!!!!