What job do you look out for when you don't know what to do?
I've spent a small part of my Sunday browsing online job pages. Which has been fun.
It's finally dawning on me that if I want a more interesting job, one in the vague arena that may interest me - writing and researching - then I should at least look around.
The only trouble with that is a) sorting the well-paid wheat from the need-15-years'-experience chaff, and b) not feeling thoroughly worthless and deflated afterwards.
I've got the sneaking suspicion that deep down, actually, not that deep at all, I'm just lazy, or perhaps after reading ad after ad appealing to superhuman emotionless zombies, I don't feel worthy of applying. Plus, of course, I can't tell what half these jobs are actually about.
My problem has always been not knowing what the hell I want to do. I'm not particularly money motivated unlike a lot of people I've met, so a job in the City or finance has never appealed. That, and the fact that I have the mathematical nous of a table.
I studied media as a fresh-faced and optimistic whinger, and followed this pattern into my early working life. I worked as a runner for various post-production companies and ultimately wound up at the BBC where I tracklayed edited programmes for sound dubs. I always found it amusing that for something quite easy, providing you had the basic aptitude for it - and it wasn't hard to learn - they make you fight for the privilege. The BBC have many dozens of permanent editors of many years standing who had learnt the new-fangled digital equipment, and weren't about to be usurped by some wet behind the ears graduate fresh out of University. Therefore, keenness had to be displayed constantly; late nights, unpaid weekend work, completing the day job and cramming in brownie points with more work at the end of the day. I did this, and it became exhausting. It soon became clear that without a violently burning desire to do this for the rest of my life, coupled with the fact that the BBC weren't willing (and still aren't) to offer new staff permanent contracts, I was soon out on my arse and selling bags, via a 3-year stint at an exams board.
So now I'm here, bitching about it to anyone who will listen.
I could, of course, write all sorts of crap* and submit it to someone** while my soul continues to erode in the day job but until then, I will continue to scour the job pages for a job I've never considered doing until I see the ad.
Good old modern life.
* = I have no idea what 'all sorts of crap' comprises of.
** = And I have no idea who it is who'll want it.