Sunday, July 29, 2007

Looking for Work

What job do you look out for when you don't know what to do?

I've spent a small part of my Sunday browsing online job pages. Which has been fun.

It's finally dawning on me that if I want a more interesting job, one in the vague arena that may interest me - writing and researching - then I should at least look around.

The only trouble with that is a) sorting the well-paid wheat from the need-15-years'-experience chaff, and b) not feeling thoroughly worthless and deflated afterwards.

I've got the sneaking suspicion that deep down, actually, not that deep at all, I'm just lazy, or perhaps after reading ad after ad appealing to superhuman emotionless zombies, I don't feel worthy of applying. Plus, of course, I can't tell what half these jobs are actually about.

My problem has always been not knowing what the hell I want to do. I'm not particularly money motivated unlike a lot of people I've met, so a job in the City or finance has never appealed. That, and the fact that I have the mathematical nous of a table.

I studied media as a fresh-faced and optimistic whinger, and followed this pattern into my early working life. I worked as a runner for various post-production companies and ultimately wound up at the BBC where I tracklayed edited programmes for sound dubs. I always found it amusing that for something quite easy, providing you had the basic aptitude for it - and it wasn't hard to learn - they make you fight for the privilege. The BBC have many dozens of permanent editors of many years standing who had learnt the new-fangled digital equipment, and weren't about to be usurped by some wet behind the ears graduate fresh out of University. Therefore, keenness had to be displayed constantly; late nights, unpaid weekend work, completing the day job and cramming in brownie points with more work at the end of the day. I did this, and it became exhausting. It soon became clear that without a violently burning desire to do this for the rest of my life, coupled with the fact that the BBC weren't willing (and still aren't) to offer new staff permanent contracts, I was soon out on my arse and selling bags, via a 3-year stint at an exams board.

So now I'm here, bitching about it to anyone who will listen.

I could, of course, write all sorts of crap* and submit it to someone** while my soul continues to erode in the day job but until then, I will continue to scour the job pages for a job I've never considered doing until I see the ad.

Good old modern life.

* = I have no idea what 'all sorts of crap' comprises of.
** = And I have no idea who it is who'll want it.


londongirl said...

You can pitch ideas for articles to editors (just a paragraph concept on each idea, not the whole thing) - write to the specific person responsible, where possible (ie the features editor if it's a feature.

Worth a try I should think.

And in the meantime, keep scanning the ads.

Bon courage.

elif said...

trying to find another job won't cause any harm so i say go for it. have you tried working in media but not in bbc? writing stuff sounds good and i think you're damn good at it. maybe you could write stuff for a magazine or something...

Anonymous said...

Freelancing for magazines is always an option... if you're willing to starve a little. But why the hell not?

We will keep listening... you keep bitching. We think you're a lovely, talented man (who whinges a lot). :)

GirlDoesTokyo said...

Am having deja vu - did I write or just think this post?
I learned freelancing that starving a little for the rest of my life was not appealing, so got into a much -regretted no-win-contract-with-the-man (otherwise known as a steady job).
"I will continue to scour the job pages for a job I've never considered doing until I see the ad."
--when you find it, forward it to me so that I can apply.

Drama Queen said...

Finding out what we are meant to do with our lives is always the hard part. Once you work that out the battle is half way over. Or so I am told.

Me? I just hitched on the back of someone else's dreams and moved countries with (read; for) them.

sue said...

This may not be the most inspired suggestion, but have you thought about contacting 'The Friday Project' about publishing something based on your blog?

fwengebola said...

LG ~ Hmm, I could pitch stuff without writing something first, I suppose. It's certainly an angle I hadn't thought of. But I'm certainly going to keep looking too. You must've done.
E ~ Thank you, Elif, anagram of life. I will try and remain positive and write other crap.
LFM ~ And thank you too. Far too kind. I will endeavour to whinge more, if it helps.
GDT ~ It's fun, isn't it, not having a clue. I will indeed throw random stuff your way.
Hounslow council need new Administrative whatsits. Any good?
DQ ~ Oh dear, is that a good or bad thing? I hope it's good.
Sue ~ God, that's excellent. One email, fired off. Minimal effort, maximum return! (If they want to bankrupt themselves).

GirlCant said...

Sometimes fun, sometimes just a (very early) midlife crisis-y-ness. And wondering why I don't have a clue...
Can't see myself as an Administrative whatsits. Open to further ideas (new unpaid position for you as careers advisor/head hunter).

B. said...

Feels like my life.

fwengebola said...

GC/GDT ~ And of course seeing as we work during our waking lives, it pretty much sucks not having a clue what to do.
Please continue advising. Can't guarantee I'll take any of it up, though.
B ~ Welcome. And whinging in numbers, I say.

luna said...

Become a mystery shopper.
You can grow a beard and shop people.

fwengebola said...

Hmm, I like the idea of being part of a police state.