Thursday, February 15, 2007

I'll do anything, just give me a fucking break...

I haven't been to work yet this week. I went to bed on Sunday night feeling groggy, nothing unusual there, but on Monday morning, I was as weak as a newborn kitten. So I called in sick and went to back to bed. I slept for a total of fourteen hours.

On Tuesday, I woke up having sweated non-stop, so I put my sheets in the wash, and called in sick again. My boss was now getting arsey and told me to get a doctor's note lined up.

By Wednesday, I was now bunged up and - dammit - had lost the ability to taste stuff. I have to blow my nose during each mouthful if I want some vague concept of what I'm masticating on. Mind you, I am only eating once a day.

This morning, the Doctors. I am told off for wasting their time as I have 'Flu' and should be recuperating at home, because apparently asking for a doctor's note is "administration, not bloody doctoring". I told them that I know I'm ill and didn't want to bother them, but if I'm told by my boss "Get that note or you don't get paid", then there's not a lot I can do.

By the time I get home from the doctors, I've started leaving huge patches of blood on my tissues. Dammit. I never get nose bleeds. Or week-long knockout flu. And without being disturbingly specific, I think my anus has sealed up through underuse. It's just that I'm not eating much and, well...

never mind.

I have a booked-a-month-ago dental appointment tomorrow. I guess that's out. Oh, and a weekend spent in Brighton to visit Monkey Dave and his new baby primate. That's out too.
But on the bright side, I have the rest of Frasier series one to finish, and a Curb your Enthusiasm 3 I forgot I own.

This really is the suckiest year I've ever experienced.

Dammit, I can't breathe.

12 comments:

VI said...

Hope you get better soon, mate. Know the feeling, been ill myself. Can't give myself a sicknote though (and cant pay myself either!)

Denim Boy said...

Guess who's back...

Glad to see you're still whinging your tits off!

la fille mariƩe said...

Breathing is highly overrated.

Get better soon, ducky. It took me over a week.

Venting said...

Being sick sucks. Get well soon!

furtive said...

your anus has sealed up through underuse?!

i have a butt-plug you can borrow :)

Fussy Bitch said...

Feeling your pain, sweetstuff. Today si the first day in a fortnight that my nose hasn't bled.

Shoshana said...

Oh gosh, I hope you feel much better very soon. Lots of Vitamin C and chicken soup, that's the key :)

fwengebola said...

Vi ~ Ah, the joys of being freelance. I'd be fucked, personally speaking.
DB ~ Welcome back! And yes, I'm still whinging. And I take it your backside may have sealed up, but for different reasons. Ho hum.
LFM ~ You too? Must be going around. Several thousand miles apart. Actually, with the amount of people in the world, isn't it just the same old cold going back and forth for eternity?
Vent ~ Yes it does suck. My mouth is perpetually open as I will die otherwise.
Furt ~ Yep, it is a rather disgusting image I wish I hadn't used. And why do I believe that you actually do own a butt plug.
Why?
Why?
FB ~ You too with the flu? Or do you just do a lot of class A's?
Shosh ~ God, chicken soup. I suddenly really miss my family. I don't even have chicken stock, let alone vats of anything homemade. Ugh.
But thanks.

Shoshana said...

I'm sorry :( I would offer to make you some, but I don't think it would travel so well.

luna said...

Left a remedies comment on GWAOTM's blog.

I see that you've just posted a mountain post so I take it that you've survived,pheww!
What blogger would I pester instead when I get insomnia.

See how much we care for you!

fwengebola said...

Shosh ~ I don't care. Kindly post me some soup.

Lune ~ Thank you.

luna said...

Flu remedies update:Chinese tea,made up of pure chrysanthemum blossoms.Heat reducing and cleansing properties.

If there's no Chinese pharmacy near you or you're very skint,you can still crawl down the cemetary and nick the petals off the tombstones,must still be some left from Nov2.

And if it doesn't work at least you'll be in the right place to die...