Friday, February 16, 2007

I Think I May Be Fascist

Chris Rock, as I have mentioned in the past, is pretty much up there in my estimation with God. Which is quite high praise, except I believe in the existence of Chris Rock.

For example, Mr Rock's view on politics is pretty straightforward;

"Everybody's so busy wanting to be down with the gang - 'I'm Conservative, I'm Liberal, I'm Conservative', Bullshit! Be a fucking person! Listen! Let it swirl around your head. Then form your opinion. No normal, decent person is one thing, ok? I've got some shit I'm Conservative about, I've got some shit I'm Liberal about. Crime, I'm Conservative. Prostitution, I'm liberal!"

I heartily agree. Except after reading this today, when I realised I may be fascist.

The headline is 'Toddlers filmed being made to fight by Mother'.
So, that's a mother.
Who puts her children aged two and three into the centre of the room.
Then gathers her friends.
And goads the brother and sister to punch each other.
Oh, and she films it while the adults laugh.

So I've stopped being a liberal and I've become a full-on fascist. All I can think of is sterilisation. Sterilise this absolute cunt of a woman in case she ever dares disgorge more children to fuck up for fun. And sterilise her friends for joining in. And give those kids to the richest foster family in Britain for adoption.

It's little stories like these that bring out the Ghengis Khan in me. In fact, what with Britain being ranked among the lowest of the developed countries when it comes to child welfare, and considering our love of all things being monitored and fined, I'm frankly amazed that we haven't regulated procreation yet.

Because we should.

Are you in a loving, caring relationship and want children? Great.
Do you want to raise a child as your own, and to the best of your ability? Wonderful.
Are you only in this baby-having lark for a free council house? Sorry, I'm afraid answering 'Yes' will result in the insertion of a cement hymen and thirty years of enforced schooling.

All children being born to children (the under-18s) will be banned. The babies will be given to loving families for adoption. The mothers will be locked up until they stop fucking. Or at least fuck legally and sensibly in scenarios that a) leave the fuckers with nothing more than a fulfilling orgasm and b) Don't leave them with an unwanted baby that the rest of the country has to pay for in more ways than one.

In addition, any man who denies his responsibilities as a father will be forever under house arrest, and in the house where his child is. If he doesn't play or love or care for his child, then he can be transferred to a jail until he decides to play nice.
Should he manage to father a second child he has no interest in caring for, he should be castrated immediately before he can create unwanted offspring numbers three, four and five.
And jailed anyway.

If a child under 14 is found wandering about on their own, both parents should be fined £100 for each minute that the child was left alone. If the child is caught vandalising, or theiving, or indulging in Anti-Social behaviour, the parents should have their windows smashed by an unruly mob. If the child is violent and abusive to complete strangers, then the parents' home should be demolished and turned into a Petting Zoo.

CBEs, OBEs, and MBEs will no longer be awarded to persons in the following industries; Music, Broadcast, Grinning, Being Old.
CBEs, OBEs, and MBEs will thus be awarded to parents who have:
a) Raised children who are disciplined and respectful, and have managed this without hitting them,
b) Brought up children under extraneous circumstances, such as in a single-parent unit when this wasn't originally the case,
c) Produced loving children with a healthy understanding of the rules of society and their place in it.

And now, I will stop ranting. Every so often, I get angered because bastards, morons and the selfish have been allowed to reproduce.

I never thought I'd do this, but I'm going to quote a line as hammed up in the most disgracefully wooden way by Keanu-fucking-Reeves in 'Parenthood':
"You know Mrs Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car, Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

Ok, it's not that fulfilling an end quote, but it'll have to do.


Fussy Bitch said...

I'd vote for you.

(or at least that's what I'd say when you knocked on my door cos I get a litle bit scared when you go off on one (and then I worry that that's quite sexy and I might be a Tory))

Ms Melancholy said...

Ouch. I am scared that I agree with some of this. Not saying which some, as I am not ready to out myself as a fascist just yet. Bloody cute picture of you, though!

luna said...

Good grief,are you still delirious with a sky high temperature??
How many bottles of cough syrup did you just down exactly?

I agree that the kids story is totally revolting,it's a sick take on the already sickening cocks/dogs/ferrets/bears fights,only with mental abuse on top.Poor mites.

These women must be on shit or something,totally psycho and obviously they shouldn't be left in charge of any living creature.
I wonder where the father is.Couldn't he be charged with neglect and abandon or something?

I don't know what to make of your opinions,that is whether I agree with them or not.

Except for one thing:I think the least society could do for any woman who goes through the pain,risk (she has a 1/1000 chance of dying) and figure deformation of having a child is to gift her with a council house.
This is not as expensive as it is made out to be.Scrap a few nuclear subs and hawkjets here and there,a couple of bankers bonuses and bingo.Money better spent imo.

As for the reproductive licence,I'm not too sure.There is something to be said for the religious idea that you and I (er,I mean it as a figure of speech,ok) are not the ones who make babies,but someone above does and that if they are born they're meant to be and play their obscure bit part on the world's stage.
Otherwise this is eugenics and eugenics,well,you know better than to mess with them.

That said I'm all for adoption of kids from unfit parents.

If your ideas were to be put into practice,there wouldn't be a single stork on a full time schedule left.
Besides,I just heard on BBc world that the French birthrate has gone up dramatically this year,and they are gloating.
Now you don't want a lot of overcrowded frogs to hop over in 20 years time do you?
And fill up empty spaces.

P.S.What is your stand on parents whose children turn into ranting bloggers full of hate btw?

P.p.S.Melancholy seems to fancy your 6year old self.
If that's not p...filia what is.
Please report her/him/it at once.

Anonymous said...

Wow. And of course, raising children is so easy. ;)

I would agree with you more if I didn't see so many wonderful parents with horrible cretinous children, and so many fabulous young people who have come from parents who one would think should never have reproduced.

londongirl said...

now why don't you tell us what you really think? Come on, get off the fence.

VI said...

Hey, getting a council house isn't THAT easy!!!! (Not that I would ever stoop that low)

fwengebola said...

FB ~ Yes, perhaps I should run for office on a ticket of Anger and pseudo-racism. (Except once I'm in, I'll start being really nice, he he he.)
Ms.M ~ Greetings. I don't know what overwhelmed me there. Sorry. And thank you for your compliments. I'm afraid I aged myself out of cute.
Lune ~ Another small comment. Well, take what I say with a pinch of salt. Obviously you can't sterilise everyone. (Alright, you can't sterilise anyone.) But it has to be said, there's soooo much wrong with that news item, and I'm afraid it pushed my buttons. This is supposed to be a fucking mother after all.
LFM ~ Yeah, you raise some interesting points. Although if raising children is so difficult, would it really compel the parent to videotape them beating each other up? But then I guess that's just a random idiot who made the news.
LdnGrl ~ I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That story annoyed me, I came over all Daily Mail, and now I feel very very bad.
Vi ~ No, you're right. I'm being a knee-jerk jerk. I'll be demanding that fox hunting be reinstated next.

Anonymous said...



actonb said...

Don't feel bad about coming over all Daily Mail and indulging in some bogan-bashing. That kind of story IS distressing, and did you know that the UK has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the western world?
At least someone is thinking of the children...

fwengebola said...

Anon ~ Nope, I'm lost and you're clearly mad.
Act ~ Welcome back. And thank you for introducing me to the Bogan'. We have one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the western world because there's nothing to do here...

Venting said...

I agree with everything that you've said, but I've also been called a right-wing facist.

Go figure.