Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Snow, Cycling, Smoking

When I woke up, I heard the telltale sign of traffic driving past on wet roads, so I looked out of the window to see snow everywhere. Not a lot, but enough to look pleasant from a warm bed. So that's cycling out of the question today. It's bad enough cycling in the summer without a buildup on black slush on the fringes that forces me further into the road to infuriate drivers who speed along angrily as if it's a clear dry day in July.

I'm back on the fags. As always, it crept up on me and I can't remember how that happened. I guess it's an extended hangover from the weekend where I've still got some left by Monday morning and I continue to buy more. Needless to say, it's depressing me, especially when I had uncharacteristic iron resolve back in November and I actually thought I'd cracked it. I'd even gone out on large drinking weekends and learnt to hate the habit like a true ex-smoker. But I've come full circle and feel like a heroin addict who's succombed to just one more hit.

But I know what the problem is, and it's the January factor. This time last year, I was a few months into a job I'd recently started and resolved to undertake for at least a year, so that afforded me the opportunity to right all my other wrongs, which I began with a vengeance. But now, I've got everything to change; looking for The Job, losing weight, getting in shape, and stopping smoking (again). The combined effort of attempting all this during the cold short depressing days has stopped me in my tracks.

I will probably go to New York next month to see my ex-on-off-girlfriend. I would at least like to be a bit fitter and slimmer and off the sticks for her, if not me.

Plus Jade actually is off to India on a PR exercise.

God, I fucking hate January.

15 comments:

Little Bird said...

I know a good way to get off the fags if you're serious Fwenge, but it's not nice.

You'll need a friend and a watch with a second hand, at least 6 cigs and a bucket or outdoor space.

Take the friend and get them to tell you to puff every 10 seconds, you have to light one fag straight after the other until you feel sick.

I'll guarantee that within about 3 fags you'll feel ill, by the fourth you'll want to vomit and the 6th will push you over the edge.

I'd be surprised if you want another one ever again because the moment you taste one it will remind you of being sick on them.

Happy quitting!

VI said...

LB - I swear I do that every weekend in the pub!

I remember seeing that on a show where Tara Palmer Tompkinson (or whatever her freaking last name is) did that. She was back on the fags in two days.

Don't be too hard on yourself Fwenge. Concentrate on the slimming and working out first. Then set a date to quit. Mines 1st July, when we can no longer smoke in pubs!

And do it for you, know one else.

Z said...

A nasty dose of bronchitis is what you need. You'll lose weight and feel too ill to smoke as a bonus.

Fussy Bitch said...

No lunch, night out, four bottles of wine between two people, no dinner, forty fags (strong ones) and a misguided drunken fumble.

You'll never smoke again, believe me.

Shoshana said...

One of the best things about NY is that they have banned smoking in all clubs, bars and restaurants so that even if you want to smoke along with drinking, you can't. It's actually pleasant to leave bars without the stench of smoke lingering in your hair and clothing. It's hard to get used to drinking without the cigarettes at first, but it doesn't take too long to enjoy.

And the bronchitis suggestion is a good one - that's how I quit, the first time. And it actually lasted quite a while.

fwengebola said...

LB ~ I hate to say this Bird, but I could do that quite easily! Occasionally on nights out, friends will suddenly say 'Why're you chainsmoking?' as I'm basically putting one out and lighting up again.
Plus I haven't vomited since my 22nd birthday nearly 11 years ago. And even that broke a 15 year vomit duck.
Nope, cold turkey, only way.
VI ~ You're right Vi, don't do everything at once, that's been the problem - I can see that quite clearly. But I don't know what to start first. I could keep smoking up until 1st July (which is in at least £200 time), but all that'll mean is I'm too addicted to not want to stop come July and I'll just smoke outside pubs. Which is probably why governments don't introduce smoking bans in winter.
Z ~ Good idea Zed. Or perhaps I could give myself a hideous disease to take my mind off the cravings.
FB ~ Oh really? Was this at the weekend? Or many moons ago?
Shosh ~ I didn't know you smoke. Or at least used to. I did the NY bars back in April and it was remarkable how clean my clothes smelt the following day. I do hope to not be smoking by next month anyhoo.

la fille mariƩe said...

You're going to NY? That's great!

Don't quit anything or change anything for someone else... it's so temporary, Fweng. When you really want to change something fundamental about who you are, you will change the things you don't like about you. Maybe you just aren't there yet.

When you are -- I agree. Cold turkey.

Joie de Vivre said...

They stopped smoking inside all public places (pubs etc) about 8 months ago, now a new term has come about 'smirting' - which is the leper smokers going outside alone (cos the smart folk quit or didnt smoke at all) and flirting with each other. Makes me stay smoking, dammit.

good luck with it - u know u can do it, cos u did it before.

Will said...

Z and Shoshana are right about the bronchitis - I gave up at the start of Jan, and got fluey ill around the 7th, just as I was weakening. It gave me four bonus days of not wanting to smoke. But the 12th I was totally in the clear.

As it's quite hard to get ill deliberately, I recommend you cut out your tongue. That should distract you for at least a week.

Fussy Bitch said...

This was last week (I'm on day 8 today - yay me!)

Of course you do realise that smoking stunts your growth, don't ya?

fwengebola said...

LFM ~ I feel disturbingly at home in NY. I think it's the big city thing. And a Jew thing. Nah, I'm quitting for me. But sometimes guilt can help.
JDV ~ Ironically I'm quite looking forward to smirting, although I don't want to be in that smoking position come July. Pah!
Will ~ I used to smoke when I had colds. Trust me, I'm a hopeless addict. Currently reading Motley Crue's 'The Dirt'. Now that's addiction.
FB ~ Recently then? What was the fumble?

Will said...

I've found the answer. Try this!

luna said...

I know a woman who got hypnotized into quitting smoking.It was painless.

fwengebola said...

But I want pain.

luna said...

You're bonkers.