Thursday, January 11, 2007

Embarrassing Memory (by proxy) #7: My Step-Dad

In his Seventies. Bald. Rather plump. Shuffles like a penguin when he walks. And is probably responsible for more embarrassing memories than I could ever accomplish in my lifetime.

He was on holiday somewhere, sitting down, as is his wont. A little girl was stood nearby and, being the cheerful fellow he is, my Stepdad ruffled her hair and said 'My, don't we have lovely locks?'

'Do you mind?', said the forty-year-old dwarf.


Anonymous said...

Nice one, step-dad. It's nice to have someone like that as an example to look up to. :)

So now I love your mum and your step-dad. And yet... there you are. How did that happen?

Shoshana said...

Wow, he's a smooth one. I see where you get it from ;)

Btw, I can't see your blog title at the top - it's all blue.

Fussy Bitch said...

He could have rescued it by telling her he'd really said 'why, wouldn't you like some lovely cock?'

That wouldn't have been embarrassing at all.

Joie de Vivre said...

did he mind?

Will said...


There, saved it.

fm said...

ooh, the ungrateful cow!

Eileen Dover said...

Oh. My. God.

That's the best story I've read all week!

luna said...

Is this for real??:0

broke said...

Love this - and for some weird reason the fact that you describe her as a forty-something woman with dwarfism just makes it completely brilliant - (I fear I'm becoming like your step-dad btw....)

VI said...

I've just fucking laughed my socks right off my feet! Thanks fwenge!!!

Anonymous said...

that is so funny, "You are the daddy", it made me laugh so much, I nearly spat my tea out.

Prisstopolis said...

Hello Eboladewd,
Adding you to my blogroll even though you are very weird.

isabelle said...

Oh that's funny !! reminds me of one of my first most embarrassing moments ever, aged 6 , in a lift with my dad and one of his work colleagues who ruffled my hair ( strawberry blonde too as a matter of fact ) and beamed down at me , saying to everyone in the lift '' he looks just like his dad, doesn't he ?''. I went bright red and have never forgiven my mum for giving me a pudding bowl hair cut and making me wear brown corduroys.

Happy New Year too xxx

fwengebola said...

LFM ~ Thanks. I have no idea why I'm such a freak.
Shosh ~ There are more stories. And the banner goes blue when you look at individual posts for some reason. Try looking at the whole blog.
FB ~ Now you're making me think of an elderly relative's genitalia.
JDV ~ He was horrified. But like me, he gets used to things like that.
Will ~ Brilliant. Too often one thinks of what one should have said. Only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn't until later that I thought how clever it would've been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart."

fm ~ Two words: 'Humourless Bitch'. Bit harsh, but still...
ED ~ Cheers, sweet. You obviously didn't read much that week.
Lune ~ Yep, it happened.
Broke ~ Welcome. Please avoid turning into my stepdad. It won't do you any favours.
Vi ~ Is that possible? Wow.
Juan ~ No, you the Daddy...
Prisst ~ How kind, and welcome. Oh, you called me weird too. Ta.
Isabelle ~ And welcome to you. You have reminded me of the time I was a teenager and boarded a bus. I showed my card to the driver, walked off to the stairs and my friend was yelled at, 'Oi, get that girl back here'.
Ugh. Thnaks for making me remember that.