Saturday, December 30, 2006

New Year's Eve's Tomorrow?

Fucking hell, I've been in limbo for a while and have lost track of time. And days. And I can no longer go to bed before 4am. Plus I am physically sick of Ferrero Rochers and television and I've now eaten myself into a fine pair of tits. Suffice to say, although I'm not looking forward to going back to work, I'm not going to begrudge the diet and exercise I'll be forcing myself through during January.

I've just realised that NYE's tomorrow and I don't have anything planned. None of my friends do. Plus, Steve, my old mate from when I was 5 and who got back in touch with me recently, is planning to leave his wife and kids (for the evening) and head down to London to meet up. Oh, and my ex-girlfriend is in the pit of despair and awkwardness as she's right this minute being escorted around London with her current English-But-Works-In-New-York boyfriend. She called me earlier to say she'd like to book a later flight home so she can spend the New Year with me, but she can't leave her guy and I didn't know what to tell her.

Bloody hell. Someone's going to get awfully hurt here. (More guilt please, waiter.)

So apropros of nothing, in order of do-ability and wantingness and likelihood combined, here's my

Lucky Seven Resolutions for 2007

1) ~ Quit smoking once and for all.
2) ~ Get back to cycling, swimming and boxing, and get on a proper diet (that doesn't include Pringles and chocolate) and shed those last few pounds to become leaner, muscular and blah blah blah. Consider joining a gym that I can feel guilty about not visiting that often.
3) ~ Quit my job for something that a) pays better and b) Is more creative and perhaps includes writing stuff n' that.
4) ~ Finish those creative endeavours I'd started a few years ago, and try selling them. Or at least putting them about and soliciting opinions, and not giving up when Hippy Dave tells me it's rubbish. (Or just don't fucking show them to Dave.)
5) ~ Either have lots and lots of random anonymous sex, or else settle down with a nice ladyperson for lots of knowing sex, until we both get used to each other and stop doing it as much and it all becomes routine. If that turns out to be my American ladyfriend and we can solve the problem that is the yawning chasm of the Atlantic Ocean, then great. If not, then try not to hurt her.
6) ~ Try getting work in New York, thus fulfilling resolutions 3 and 5 at a stroke.
7) ~ Be a less regretful and guilty whinging bastard, and become a more happy and positive whinging bastard.


So what are yours????


The Bizarre Jokester said...

hi! you've got a fantastic blog here! keep up the good work!

VI said...

My new year resolution is 'To take over the world. HA HA HA *evil laughter* No, not true. Not in one year anyway. Just may work on England this year (with my business anyway!)

Eileen Dover said...


Sadly it seems I'm not #5, in that I'm not American.

Well, good luck with the rest of your resolutions. If you should change your mind and want an Aussie with a bit of a Yankee accent, let me know.

I'll be glad to oblige. ;)

Anonymous said...

Fweng ... For fuck's sake ditch the conscience if you are tempted that much. She is obviously not going to stay with the waiter if she is thinking of you.

My No 1 resolution is to go for it in 2007 no holds barred.

I share your No's 1 and 2, so if you want to form a self help club?

Good luck on No 5, I think that whatever the barriers you can overcome them and you will get lots of air miles if nothing else.

Great blog btw!

Fussy Bitch said...

Blimey, she has got it bad for you! HNY, you irresistable manwhore ;-)

luna said...


P.S. Oh come on, what are webcams for honestly.

Happy NYE with your chum!

fwengebola said...

BJ ~ (He he he), Welcome, and thank you!
VI ~ Well good luck with your business and/ or world domination. I will give you a hand, if you want. I could wear an eye-patch and everything.
ED ~ Sure, I'm game. Rrrrowl. I'm great with women who are geographically inappropriate.
SL ~ Welcome! And good luck with your 1s and 2s. I've just finished my remaining cigarette from yesterday's pack, so thats a good 'Last Fag Ever' to have. Tomorrow I work, and go back to cycling. Great.We shall see what happens with my ex, even if she's in a new relationship with a guy who lives in the same country as her... oh. Fuck.
FB ~ Don't blame me for being wonderful. With a frisson of uselessness to keep her keen.

Oh god.
Lune ~ Do you know what, a webcam's a good idea. Or perhaps I should just let go and let her get on with her life.

Still, webcam. Ta.

Joie de Vivre said...

I don't trust her this time, check she isnt out to revenge the last time you hurt her ... i am so fucken cynical, sorry bout that.

Oh - and DEFINATELY write ... u gifted ginger boy

fwengebola said...

I think it's 50% revenge, 50% keenness, the lovely venegeful saucebucket.
And stop making me blush. I'd love to write but if it was for a living, I'd be crap.

No, actually, keep making me blush...

Ordinary Girl said...

Have to say... if she was into you that much she wouldn't be shagging english bloke who lives in new york.

She sounds like she's just looking for some ego stroking and she can come back to you, get that and then fuck off back to america feeling all loved and wanted.

Sorry fwengy, but that's the way I see it. Of course, there has been the incredibly rare time I have been ever so slightly misinformed of course...

fwengebola said...

I don't know. But she is being spectacularly open and honest, and I appreciate this. I don' think she wants her ego stroked. She wants me to tell her I love her and I'll do anything to be with her.

I am just being a typical male. I like her, a lot. Love? Who knows. I have testes. And I do want to be with her, but I'm a realist while she's a fantasist.

And that's really the crux of it all.

luna said...

The Brit boyf is a stand in for you,that's all.
She's probably the kind of girl who is too insecure to stay single for a length of time

fwengebola said...

No, she's just in a blip at the moment. She's not insecure!