I'm at my Mums and doing all the cooking. I made the stuffing last night and whacked it up the Turkey's arse. I then promptly forgot about it this afternoon (while we were watching Oliver!) and it's now very very burnt.
Plus I cut my finger open on a very sharp cooking bowl thing, and I'm a bit lightheaded and accidentally smashed a full glass of champagne onto the floor.
Prepared small mountain of brussell sprouts and peeled the potatoes.
Oh bollocks, the guests are coming...
Update: I can't move. I wish I was a cow. They have four stomachs. Two starters before the turkey was probably unnecessary. I am now sweating heavily, but then that's mainly because my Mum's at that age where she's got the heating on maximum, even in July. My stepdad's at that age where he doesn't feel like he has to make conversation, or indeed speak at all. Mum keeps dozing off. It is only 4pm and they don't even drink. Some Like It Hot is on. Great film. But I'm in hiding in case the guests ask how my job is again, or why I'm not dating. I would like a cigarette, or some crack at this point.