The new Bond film is ruddy bloody brilliant.
It's that simple.
It's as true to the original Bond as Ian Fleming would've liked.
I've not been to work today, so I went for a cycle and a swim and got my haircut by the cute and intriguing Polish hairdresser with a shy smile (I used to think this was fear but I think I'm wrong. I gave her a two pound tip because she's cute and I'm trying to impress her through excessive service donations. And in the few months that I've been going there, her English has been improving, which I think is really sweet.)
Erm, so anyway, the new Bond.
He's not the most polished diamond in the mine.
He's fucking me, dammit, minus the really really really buff body.
And he gets into fights and walks away with scars - actual scars! His knuckles are bruised. He makes mistakes. He falls in love. He's the first Bond who can actually act. HIS OPENING 'GUN POINTING AT CAMERA' SHTICK IS DONE IN A TOILET - A BLOODY TOILET FOR GODSSAKES!!!
This is as raw as Bond can get, not that I've ever been a huge fan. The other Bonds were shit. Yes, even Connery.
If you walked up to a coiffured Pierce Brosnan's Bond in a casino and insulted him, he'd furrow his brow and look puffy and confused like a schoolgirl from the bowels of darkest Bristol.
Moore would slowly raise an eyebrow and say 'Good Heavens'.
Dalton would stiffen and slap you round the face with a white glove.
Lazenby - Who?
While Connery would be so egotistical about the whole insult thing that he'd probably try his damndest to ignore you, even if you jumped up and down and called him an ex-milkman no matter what direction he'd try and turn.
But Daniel Craig would break your fucking legs in front of everyone.
See this film immediately. The rule book has been ripped up. Ripped up and eaten, digested, shat out, composted and used to grow some real hard bastard flowers. No gadgets, no one-liners, zero campness, and Dame Judi Dench in such extreme soft focus, you'd never know she was 87.
It's returned to its book roots so much that I forgot I was watching a Bond movie. This still didn't prevent me from running out of the cinema with my hands folded into a gun.
I want to have sex with my hairdresser.