Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Paying for abuse

I've joined a self-defence class. My induction teacher Anthony - sorry, Sensei Anthony, had me do a few stretches, then got me in gloves while he stuck pads on.

"Gimme ten punches, left, right, left, right, then a front kick."
"AAARGH!!! ONETWOTHREEFOUR!!!...."
"Now hit the deck and gimme 20 press ups!!"
"AAARGH!!! ONETWO... THREE... FOUR!!!...."
"Get up! Ten more punches!!"
"AAAARGGHHH!!!"
"Now get out your credit card and gimme a £50 joining fee."
"Erm, aargh...."

I didn't particularly relish forking out the cash when I'm supposed to be saving money and putting it towards Xmas presents, but I got caught up in the moment.

Once I paid, I asked Sensei Alex, a disturbing Hollyoaks lookalike, if I could join the proper class.

"No. Come back next week."

I didn't expect that.

But I was so ashamed at my fitness - 10 pretty hefty punches and a solid kick, followed by 10 minutes of trying to catch my breath - that I'm pretty convinced this may be a good idea, especially as the days are getting shorter and colder. What a great way to lift my spirits.

Now if I could just give up smoking...

2 comments:

Shoshana said...

I thought most self-defense classes were populated with almost exclusively females - is that why you signed up?

fwengebola said...

Nope. I signed up to get fitter and leaner and learn a discipline. Women are an added bonus.