Sunday, October 29, 2006

This is now a sex blog

I'm single. I'm relatively young. Well, 32. I'm in good shape. -Ish. And when I wear decent clothes, women stare a bit longer and don't have that look of pure horror as if they're staring at Satan's emissary on Earth (anymore, finally.)
And of course sex is fun. Plus sudden, random, vaguely anonymous sex is brilliant.

So I've decided to become a rampant slutmeister, starting right now. Never dawned on me before, that.

I've discovered Girl With A One Track Mind, about a young lady from my neck of the woods who unashamedly shags a lot from a thoroughly post-modern Feminist perspective, natch, and now has a book of her blog out. (See also Belle De Jour for a similar story, except this lady charged for her services. Oh, and could also be fictional.)

So. Here comes lots of sex for me, brilliant. And the de rigeur book deal. I guess ever since Greek potters realised their tankards of voluptuous maidens getting spit-roasted by bearded men outsold vases with zig-zaggy designs, sex has always been a great selling point. 'I Hate The Earth' is now a repository of anger, loads of shagging, and general livin'-the-high-life. I'm sure I'll eventually tire of all the London glitterati after-whatever parties and mountains of pure Colombian snuff doing the rounds, and the cocktails, the models, the orgies and five-somes and swingers' parties, and more gak, and DP and BDSM and AA (?) but as long as I document everything in full detail with my own wry cynicism, I'll be laughing.

And here we go.



Lots of sex.



Now.




Oh fuck this. I'm going to Tescos to get a pizza. It's shit being male with strawberry blond hair.

8 comments:

Shoshana said...

Good luck with your aspirations. Even if it doesn't work, you can pretend and write lots of interesting stuff and live vicariously through your alter-blog-ego. I suppose that beats nothing at all.

And by the way - I think strawberry blond hair is cute :)

fwengebola said...

Thank you for your kind words of support in my endeavour to have more sex.

Unfortunately, my blog is as true as I live it, so don't hold your breath.

Mikey said...

If nothing else, your libidinous new content will surely direct more traffic to your blog.

Personally I find watching my hit counter going up at least as enthralling as the thought of a strange hand rummaging about in my undergarments.

fwengebola said...

I have indeed noticed traffic go up since my tags and titles became sexual. Which is at least as good as a wank.

God, I need a girlfriend.

Shoshana said...

Try Craigs List. Do they have that over in your neck of the woods? I hear it works like magic.

fwengebola said...

Funnily enough, all internet sites work in all necks of woods. I have heard of it, and have only used Gumtree, as that too has 'No strings attached sex' sections. I used it once. I sent a picture and a more-than-a-one-liner email back, speaking of intrigue, interest and lack of strings commitment.

I didn't hear back. Psht.

Shoshana said...

I assumed that the website worked there, but thank you for the reassurance. My inquiry was more about whether people actually advertised on Craigslist in GB.

fwengebola said...

They do indeed. And I've considered it from time to time but I'm not yet that desperate.

Not massively far off though.