Utter cunts, both the owners of the site, and the people who post there, which includes me. And, erm, my Mum.
After being tempted to revisit Friends Reunited by a fellow blogger's article, it merely reminded me of how everyone else is getting on with their lives and keeping up with the Joneses.
They've added new icons too, cheerful little one-upmanship pixels you can stick next to your name to hammer home how successful you've become compared to everyone else, viz: 'I'm buying a flat!', 'Engaged!' or 'I've had a baby girl!'
Well thank you. I'm so happy you've got screaming at 4am, shitting, wrinkly proof that you eventually found someone ugly enough to impregnate with your gitprod and vomit forth more of those foul genes into this arsegutter of a planet. Hey, and you saved several million to put towards a deposit on a garden shed in Putney, I like your work.
Until they add 'Still an embittered wanker', 'Alone and getting used to the prospect', and 'Renting an overpriced flat with a large man from Nottingham' icons, I'm afraid I won't be returning to that site. In fact, I will never be happy until someone invents 'Failures Introduced' - Hang on, that's actually a bloody good idea.
On the plus side, I discovered that Osama Bin Laden and Duncan Not Applicable went to my Uni, so that's going to be a nice talking point.